“Because you don’t want to give all your power over to a man?”
“That’s correct.”
“So you’ll just let him go.”
“Yes.”
“I know a little about that—thinking the man you love will never be yours to have for real. That’s how I felt about David, so I let him go. I could have fought. Made compromises. He wanted me to come to college with him, but I couldn’t leave my mom. I actually wanted to go to beauty school.”
“You did?” Who was this woman?
“I did. But I chose duty over my own dreams. Your grandmother needed me. Then your dad. And then you girls. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see what a good marriage looks like. I’m sorry that when Chris told you to stop working and to make yourself small that you didn’t have anyone to act as a role model. That’s on me. And my cowardly choices.”
“Putting other people first is not cowardice, Mom.”
“I let him go too easily. I’d hate to see you do the same.”
“It’s different,” Mauve said.
“I don’t think so. You two look at each other like David and I once did.” She smiled. “Like we do now, actually.”
“Tell me more, Mom. What happened exactly?”
“I wasn’t even sure I’d go to the reunion. I didn’t think he’d be there. He’d never come to any of the others. But I don’t know if it was a sixth sense or what, but a few days before I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, good God, you look a thousand years old. So I booked an appointment at the salon. And my friend Ethel took me shopping. We found the most fabulous dress.”
“And you went.”
“That’s right. And he was there. David. The boy I’d once loved so much it hurt. He looked at me from across the room and, I swear, it was as if no time had passed. I mean, he was older, obviously. But his eyes. They were the same. And his smile too. He strode over to me, this look on his face of … determination, I guess you’d say.”
Despite her shock, Mauve found herself intrigued by the story. “What was the first thing he said to you?”
Cynthia fanned her eyes with her left hand. “It makes me cry. He said, ‘I’ve been thinking about you since 1985, wondering how in the world I ever let you get away.’”
“Oh, wow. That’s a good opening.”
“Right?”
“What did you say back to him?”
“I didn’t even think about it. I just said, I’ve been thinking the same thing about you. And that was it. We found a corner and started talking and haven’t stopped since.”
“That’s like Jason and me.” She told her mom how she’d gone out to L.A. and they’d spent a magical week together. “We agreed to part ways, but then we couldn’t stop calling or texting each other.”
“You’re really going to let him walk out of your life?”
“It seems doomed. His work. My choice to live here.”
“Utter nonsense.”
She stared at her mother. She’d never once seen her so confident, so sure of her own opinion.
“Listen to me, honey. Learn from my mistakes. If you love him, don’t let him go. Make compromises. Don’t be like me. Choosing the safe route. Assuming a small life is all you get. That big love is meant for everyone but you. Is it really worth losing him to keep your job?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Isn’t it? You were burned by Chris, and you don’t want to risk it again. So you’re choosing to be safe, instead of open to love. It’s a rare thing to feel that way about someone. Don’t waste it because you’re afraid to get hurt.”
“Getting over what Chris did to me—the way he took over my life and then dumped me for a newer model—was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I rebuilt my life here in Sugarville Grove. One day at a time. I have a wonderful job. My little house that I’m so proud of. My best friend. Thinking of following another man leaves me more than afraid, Mom. I’m terrified.”
