A: Yes. But I don’t know if she went all the way up. I don’t have the faintest idea what happened to her after I saw her on the stairs.
Q: Yes, you do, Ms. Kim. You know exactly what happened to her. She ended up dead.
Amanda
THE PARTY
Amanda was actually feeling pretty good as she dressed for Maude and Sebe’s party, better than she had in days. There had been two hang-ups only hours earlier, and the following in the park, not to mention everything with Carolyn, but right now she was preparing to tell Zach about all of it. Or at least some of it. Also, she might not start with her dad. But that was okay. Speaking up with Zach, changing things, was going to be a process.
Besides, she’d saidsomethingalready. Hadn’t she? She’d demanded that Zach go to the party with her. And he was going. Amanda was pleased about that as she pulled on her white capri jeans and off-the-shoulder ruffled top, slipped her feet into black wedge sandals, and pulled her hair into a high ponytail. The long silver earrings, too, nice but not overdone. It was the right outfit for that party, finally.
Of course, when they were still not speaking as they descended their brownstone steps, the satisfaction of asking Zach to come had been replaced by the reality of getting what she’d wanted. She and her husband were awkward strangers.Thatwas their reality. This was not news, but it chafed now more than it ever had.
As Amanda and Zach walked up tree-lined Montgomery Place, past all the meticulous brownstones, Amanda kept thinking they should at least be chitchatting. But everything she thought to say felt wrong. When you’ve been married for eleven years, resorting to a conversationabout the rising humidity was humiliating. And so they were left with silence.
And right now, all that quiet was making Amanda want to scream.
She glanced over at Zach, who was smiling slightly as they turned right onto the busier, two-lane Prospect Park West. He almost looked handsome in his white linen shirt and perfectly worn designer jeans. Strangely pleased, too, for someone who hated parties, and people. Amanda looked away, across the street to where a man was jogging alone in the bike lane and a small older woman was walking an enormous white dog. Up ahead on their side of the street, it was empty and dark except for the squares of light cast by the entrances of the larger buildings that overlooked the park.
And then Zach started to whistle. Why was he whistling? Nothing her husband did made any sense to her. It was much worse than his silence, though. Depressing, actually. This conversation would not have a happy ending, would it? Zach wasn’t going to suddenly be the husband she wanted—attentive and loving. People didn’t just change because you wanted them to. But Amanda had to at least tell Zach about her dad. If not to protect herself, then to protect her son. If Zach got angry, so be it. Amanda wasn’t sure she cared anymore what he did.
“Yes, I had a great day today. Thank you so much for asking,” Zach said sarcastically as they passed the intersection of Prospect Park West and Garfield. “Things at work are finally looking up. Way up.”
“That’s good … What does your new company even do?” Amanda asked. This hadn’t been where she’d planned to start—but maybe it was as good a place as any. “I don’t even know, and I think I should. I’m your wife.”
“You want to know about my business, huh?” Zach asked, seeming amused. “You want me to break down its capital formation plan or its strategic plan?”
“I just want to know what you do all day.”
“The details would bore you to death, trust me, but it’ll make us a lot richer once I get it right. As usual with these things, it was the engineering that almost did us in. People, boards especially, don’t realize how important those technical details are. But thanks to my own creative thinking, it’s finally sorted out. Beta testing. That’s the key.”
“It doesn’t sound boring. I wish you’d told me about the problems,” Amanda said. “Maybe I could have, I don’t know, helped.”
“I didn’t realize you were a software engineer.” Zach laughed. “Next time I will come right to you.”
Amanda balled her hands into fists. “I’m your wife.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
She stopped walking. “It’s supposed to have something to do with everything.”
“You know your problem, Amanda?” Zach stopped a few paces ahead. “You’ve always overestimated the value of human connection. I’m not saying connections don’t matter. That’s all ZAG was about: connecting people with the things they’ve bought, the life they want. It’s a billion-dollar concept. But connections between people? You ask me, they just create more problems.That’swhat my new company is about.”
He seemed so pleased with himself as he turned his back on her and began to walk again.
Amanda didn’t move. Her eyes burned as she stared after her husband.Forgiveness is a side effect of love. Sebe was right about that. The truth was, she didn’t forgive her husband his limitations. Because whatever was between Zach and Amanda had nothing to do with love. But it had produced one thing that Amanda did love, more than anything: Case. Amanda had failed him by letting Zach move them to Park Slope for some business she didn’t even know about. But she would do now what she had to, to protect her son.
“Wait!” Amanda called after Zach, jogging to catch up. “I’ve been meaning to—we have to talk about Case. The move was too hard onhim. I think he really struggled at Country Day at the end of the year. That’s not like him.”
“Struggled? Since when?” Zach scoffed. “For the amount of money we’re paying that school, I sure as hell hope they’d notify us if they thought he was struggling.”
“Didn’t they notify you?”
“Me?” Zach asked. “Why would they notify me?”
“The school has your email, too.”
“They sure as hell do not,” he said. “You know how I feel about that. Might as well give everyone the keys to your front door. Speaking of which, I thought you were going to get our alarm fixed, and that damn closet door in my office is still sticking.”
