“His breathing,” Amanda had said at the time. “I’d know his breathing anywhere.”
And the female officer had seemed to know exactly what that meant. She’d suggested to Amanda that a complaint would be a good first step. It was something they could do right then at the police station—no judge or other official process required. And while it might have no real legal implications, it would at least create a record.
Carolyn was staring at Amanda intently, waiting for a response. “So?” Carolyn asked. “Will you do it?”
Amanda nodded, though she did not feel convinced. “A restraining order is a good idea.”
“That doesn’t sound like a yes.” Carolyn knew her so well.
Amanda smiled weakly. “I’ll think about it.”
“There’s nothing to think about, Amanda.”
“There shouldn’t be.” Amanda’s face felt hot as tears pushed into her eyes. She felt so terribly weak. “I know that.”
“I believe in you,” Carolyn said firmly and with such love. “And I know you’ll do the right thing.”
And now Amanda needed to change the subject. Because it was getting hard to breathe. She forced a bright smile. “I almost forgot, I have gossip for you.” Carolyn loved gossip. “I just heard it last night.”
“What’s that?” Carolyn asked with narrowed eyes. She was onto this changing-of-the-subject nonsense, but she also seemed intrigued.
“It sounds like, well, like they have some kind of sex partieshere, in Park Slope.”
Carolyn choked on her coffee. “What?”
“Yes, apparently.”
Carolyn’s face was positively aglow. “The patron saints of sanctimony? That is the best thing I’ve ever heard.”
It wasn’t that Carolyn disliked Park Slope, but she was suspicious of perfect things. And Park Slope, with its picturesque tree-lined streets, gorgeous brownstones, and giggling children, had been ripped from a storybook, then had all the artificial flavoring and high-fructose corn syrup rinsed clean.
Amanda smiled. “I thought you’d enjoy it.”
“Oh, yes,” Carolyn breathed. “But now I needdetails.Allof them.”
“I’m not saying they do it every weekend, but it sounds like there’s at least this one party every summer.”
Carolyn’s mouth was agape. “Wait, do your friends Maude and Sarah have sex with each other’s husbands?”
“No, no,” Amanda said, like that was so absurd. “At least I don’t think so. Sarah doesn’t participate—or hasn’t. It sounds like that’s maybe only because her husband won’t. For Maude and her husband, apparently, it’s a regular thing. They go with other people, not only at their parties but all the time.”
“How can you sound so calm about this!” Carolyn cried.
“I don’t know,” Amanda said, but for some reason, none of it bothered her in the least. It seemed ordinary almost. “Maybe it was the way Maude described it. And it was her decision, not her husband’s. She’s so comfortable with who she is and what she wants. I don’t know. It made it sound like … freedom.”
“Well, well, well, Amanda. After all these years, you finally have surprised me.” Carolyn was grinning now. “And I have to meet this Maude person. Anybody who can makeyouloosen up likethatis definitely somebody I want to know.” Carolyn set her coffee mug back down on the marble counter. She checked the time on the stove. “Oh, shit. Now I’m going to be late. I’ve got a meeting. Work on aSunday. Like your husband. I’ve got to go.”
“Go, go,” Amanda said, even though what she really wanted to say wasPlease stay forever. But how needy was she going to be? Carolyn already did so much for her.
Carolyn got off her stool and walked over to Amanda. She put a hand on each of her arms. “Go to the police. Today. Enough of this shit.”
“Okay,” Amanda said, but too quickly.
Carolyn eyed her doubtfully. “I mean it, Amanda. I’m not trying to freak you out, but I have a bad feeling this time.”
“I’ll go talk to them,” Amanda said. “I will.”
“Today?”
