Hilary was the best kind of friend for a moment like this—outrageously loyal and completely nonjudgmental, provided she liked you. Also, her marriage was the very definition of stormy, she and Scotty constantly at each other’s throats, then pawing each other like teenagers. Money was often at the root of their conflicts. Hilary wasn’t ashamed to admit that financial security was part of what she’d been seeking in a marriage, but it turned out that dependency was fertile soil for resentment.
I’d love to see you. But in a couple hours?Gretchen wrote back.I have some things I need to take care of first.
Whenever/wherever. Text me and I will be there. xx
Gretchen forced herself to dial Becks. He’d had some real issues over the years, mostly rooted in plain old-fashioned anxiety—at least that’s what the therapists had eventually concluded. But that anxiety had manifested in some alarming episodes. Five or six stretches when Becks refused to speak at all for weeks at a time, starting when he was four and not ending until sixth grade. Selective mutism, the doctors called it. But then one day the episodes just stopped. Like a storm suddenly blown through. Richard had been obsessed with understanding why it had started. But thedoctors agreed with Gretchen—better just to let it go than drive yourself crazy. People weren’t puzzles to be solved. And Becks had been fine ever since. She and Richard were ecstatic when he got into Dartmouth, and two years in, the school seemed like a surprisingly good fit. Still, this news? She didn’t really think Becks would suddenly stop talking again, but how could she know for sure? The whole thing had been so strange to begin with.
When Becks finally picked up, it was obvious Gretchen had woken him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately. “You sound…weird.”
Becks was a human tuning fork, just like Cassandra. Gretchen really did wish her children could listenless. What was it they were so desperate to hear?
“Well, it’s nothing to worry about. Everyone is fine and everythingwillbe fine. It’s just one of those situations. Like getting audited by the IRS.” Coming out with the truth was going to be easier said than done. Gretchen was going to have to work her way up to it.
“You’re being audited by the IRS?” Becks already sounded alarmed.
“No, no.” Gretchen paused, cycling through her options of where to start. “Someone has died, a woman your dad knew.” Butknewwas an overstatement—that made them sound like they were…Ten days. It was only ten days. “An acquaintance. She was on the Kilimanjaro trip. Anyway, it’s tragic, of course. Your dad is down at the police station answering questions.”
Even including the time since the trip, it had only been a total of five weeks. How well could you really know someone in that amount of time?
“My God.” Becks sounded very young. And very scared. “What happened to her?”
Gretchen closed her free hand into a fist. She was going to have to get to the point.
“She was…well, murdered,” she managed finally. “But I don’t know the details. The police aren’t sharing them.”
“They think Dad knows something?”
“Yes. Like I said, it’s nothing to worry about. A mistake. It will get sorted out, but it might take a minute.”
“Can I talk to him when he gets home?” Becks did not sound convinced in the slightest that everything was okay.
“Actually, Becks, I think it’s probably a good idea if youcomehome,” Gretchen said, but almost cheerfully. “I mean, later tonight would be great. But tomorrow would be okay, too. Could you check the train times?”
There were flights, but that would have made the whole situation even more alarming.
“I don’t understand—why do I need to come home? Am I in trouble?”
“Trouble? Of course not!” she said. “Why would you be in trouble?” She laughed, but it sounded tinny. “It’s just, well—Dad’s technically been arrested. He’s being held by the police until his arraignment on Mon—”
“Arrested?” Becks shouted. “Mom, what the hell are you talking about?”
“These things happen, Becks—mistakes. They happen all the time. The important thing right now is for us to stay calm. It’s an inconvenience, that’s all. Your dad will be fine. I’m sure his biggest concern right now is that they find the person who is in fact responsible.”
“I’ll get the next train.” Becks sounded on the verge of tears. Richard was always so much better with the kids when they were overwrought. It was like he had more room for all their feelings.
“The arraignment is Monday, and then your dad will be released on bail. Scotty just wants the whole family to be there in a show of support. Apparently, that’s how these things are done. If it’s at all a problem, then let me—”
Gretchen could hear him moving around. “But can you—I don’t—Whydo the police think he did it?”
The words from Richard’s journal flashed into Gretchen’s mind.I’m not ready to go home.
“I have no idea, Becks. The why doesn’t matter. Whatever it is they think, they’ve got it wrong.”
—
Gretchen called Elizabeth next. She had momentum now. Technically, she called the number for the Community, of course, not Elizabeth directly. Elizabeth didn’t own a cell phone. That would have constituted participation in the commercial world order she was committed to dismantling. There was only one phone at the Community, in the commune’s office.
