It’s best for the children, I told myself, repeatedly, as the taxi bore me away. I was convinced that Kiara would be doted on by Alex. And I had to trust that Danny would be safe alongside Edwin and Seraphine—his half brother and his non-sister—within the golden walls of Summerbourne. I had to believe that Vera, Dominic, and Alex would always protect those children as if they were their own.
33
Seraphine
LAURA’S FINGERS CURLaround her locket while she talks, but they return to her lap when she stops. We sit in silence as her final words sink in, and I suspect we are all trying to process the same mental image: pulses of blue light on yellow bricks, the two babies that half belonged, the one baby that was taken.
Laura rests her gaze on the coffee table in front of her while she waits for us to gather our thoughts, and I blink with recognition. I have seen this same stillness in Danny when he’s preparing for me to grill him for information.
“And did the police question you the next day?” Kiara asks eventually.
Laura nods. “They came to see me at Mum’s. I was in bed. I told them I didn’t know why Ruth had run to the cliffs. I didn’t know which private doctor she had seen in London. I didn’t know what had upset her.”
Alex passes a hand over his eyes.
“And Dad never knew I wasn’t...?” I ask, my heart squeezing when I say his name as if I’m betraying his memory.I am not the betrayer, I remind myself.
Laura’s forehead creases. “I really don’t think so. I don’t think the possibility you might not be his would ever have crossed his mind.”
“And you never told anyone?” Danny asks. He doesn’t look at her directly. “You never tried to get us back?”
“I—” Laura’s hand creeps up to her locket. “After Vera wouldn’t listen to me, I thought—what would I achieve by telling anyone? I had nothing to offer you, either of you. Beaky would have kicked me out if I’d taken you back there. You were better off where you were, with people who could look after you. And after the first year or two... I mean, how could I?”
Danny grunts. “So you—what? Moved on with a clear conscience?”
Laura gazes at him, but he won’t meet her eye.
“Do you have other children?” Kiara asks.
“No, I—” Laura presses herself farther back into her chair. “I stayed inside at my mum’s house for months afterward. I didn’t tell them anything about you, of course. I literally stayed in bed for weeks. I didn’t care about anything—I didn’t have anyemotionsabout anything.” She breathes deeply, in and out. “My mum was so worried, at one point she asked my aunt to come and see me. But they’re twins, my mum and my aunt, and they’d barely spoken in years, and it just made it worse—reminded me what I’d done. What I’d lost.”
“What about your exams?” Edwin asks.
“Three As.” She sighs. “But that was it. I couldn’t face going out to the shops for a long time, let alone the thought of moving to another city, starting a degree course. I got a job with a localcompany eventually, when I started feeling stronger. In a small office, part-time at first. It took me another year to save up enough money to move out.”
“And after that?” Alex asks.
Laura shakes her head at him wordlessly. The silence lengthens, but just as it seems she’s going to offer no further reply, she opens her mouth.
“I’ve been alone ever since,” she says.
Alex leans back and closes his eyes as if he’s in pain.
Edwin is hunched on his chair at Laura’s side, glancing frequently at the phone on the coffee table. He spoke to Martin briefly while I was persuading Danny to come back inside earlier, and Martin told him he might be allowed a short visit with Vera before the end of the day. I know Edwin’s desperate to see her, but I’m not sure I’ll want to go with him, and I doubt Danny will either.
Danny shifts restlessly on the sofa next to me as though he’s considering leaving again. I reach out and touch his arm, but he shakes me off, turning on me.
“You know this is all your fault, don’t you?” His eyes are red rimmed, furious. “You heard what Martin said—Vera was here, arguing with Dad, and then she—” He waves a hand.
Edwin’s voice is sharp. “Danny. Stop.”
Danny ignores him, and continues to glare at me. “I bet Dad was dreading having to tell us I wasn’t Ruth’s son. But because ofyouhe felt he had no choice. If he didn’t say anything, he knew Vera would give Summerbourne to me, and thenyou’dmake all our lives hell. If you weren’t so fixated on this bloody house, there wouldn’t have been an issue, and they wouldn’t have argued, and Vera wouldn’t have—”
“Danny!” Edwin roars.
My jaw hangs open. The injustice is like a slap to the face.
“Take that back,” Edwin says to Danny. “We’re not discussing what Gran’s accused of until we know the facts. And none of this is Seraphine’s fault.”
