“That wasn’t just me,” I say, because itwasn’t. I know my own body. I know what arousal feels like. This… this was something else. “What was that?”
He doesn’t answer immediately. And that’s answer enough to tell me it’s bad.
“Varek.”
His expression firms. Then, finally, he says, “It is… a biological state.”
I blink. “That’s your explanation? What the hell does that even mean?”
“It is the most accurate one I can offer quickly.”
I narrow my gaze. “Try again.” Varek might not be able to lie to me, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the ability to skirt around truths he doesn’t want to share.
His gaze meets mine, and there’s something in it I don’t see often. Not fear, but… reluctance. Like he does not want to give this to me.
“It is called heat,” he says.
The word lands strangely.
“Heat,” I repeat.
“Yes.”
I sit up a little straighter despite the pull in my ribs, adrenaline cutting through the lingering haze. “What? Like a dog?”
He simply stares at me.
“Andyou don’t know what a dog is. Right. So, you’ve just—what? Been walking around like that?”
“Not quite.” His answer is immediate, and I don’t fucking like it.
“Okay, so what was that?” I press, the echo of pain and desire still thrumming through me.
There’s a beat of quiet before he says, quieter, “A loss of control.”
That gets my full attention.
“You don’t lose control,” I say.
“I did.”
I stare at him. Because that… doesn’t line up with anything I know about him. Varek is control and precision. Everything about him is measured decisions and deliberate action.
And whatever that was… thatheatwasn’t measured.
“That didn’t feel like just arousal,” I say slowly. “That felt like?—”
His voice cuts through mine, not harsh, but weighted. “I know what it felt like.”
I hold his gaze. “Then explain it.”
He exhales slowly, like he’s choosing whether to give me the full truth or something easier. Then, because it’s him and he has no choice, he gives me the truth.
“It is cyclical,” he says. “Two days, approximately, each month.”
I blink. I never had a pet growing up, so honestly, I have no real idea about heats or cycles, but I’m going to be honest: Thiswhole thing is fucking weird. As for the pain… I’m fairly certain animals on Earth who go through heat don’t have that. “…You’re serious.”
“Yes.”
