‘What was all that about?’
Rae shrugged, picking at the old scar tissue on her finger, left behind by an oven burn. She’d never really let it heal, always scraping at the scab without realising it. Struan had noticed, back in the car, surprising her. ‘I think maybe she’s another person that felt left behind.’
‘Well, it must’ve been awkward when you left for uni, no? She was Martha’s ex. She only stopped treating me like the enemy a year or two ago.’
‘Yeah. They didn’t end on the best of terms… But she was also my friend.’ Maybe Rae had been terrible – to Dad, to Martha, to Cam. She’d assumed she wasn’t that important to anyone, that with her gone, they’d get on with their lives barely noticing the difference. Maybe she was self-absorbed, unappreciative. She’d never meant to be. She’d just been so swept away, caught in a current that never seemed to stop. Even now, her bag was weighed down by the fliers and sample pots, and she could feel time ticking away, urging her to keep moving, stop wasting it.
‘Come on. Let’s keep going.’ She masked her discomfort behind a sip of her drink, and then grabbed Struan’s wrist without thinking about it.
She was quick to drop it when she realised, too late, just how easily she’d touched him, like they’d known each other for years. She supposed they had – but not like this.
Never like this.
9
By the time they arrived back at the farm, fields bathed in the early evening’s peach glow, most of the samples were gone. Struan was used to long days out hiking, but even he was ready to sit down and fill his stomach with something other than the pizza slices and pastries they’d snacked on during their venture around Main Street.
Just as he was about to point out as much, the two of them still seated in his car, Rae pulled out a notebook from the otherwise empty tote bag on her lap, focus pinching her features as she sliced a tick through her endearingly neat handwriting.
‘Okay. Samples are done; festival fliers have been handed out…’ She tapped her pen against the pad in a frantic chorus of clicks. ‘I should go see if the fields are in shape. Summer season starts this weekend and visitors will—’
Struan covered her restless hand with his own, if only because the sharp mechanical sound was driving him mad. Rae stilled, round eyes searing a question into his skin. She was unfairly beautiful like this, sunlight painting half of her face amber,lips pink from anxiously biting them, plait slowly unravelling around her face – but she was something else, too. Stressed. It had gotten worse through the day, until she was no longer responding to his silly quips, instead speaking over them with updates of where they had to go next. He supposed it made sense: that unwavering determination had no doubt got her to where she was now. But, Jesus, the woman didn’t pause for breath, and it was dinner time.
‘Tomorrow’s problem. How about we go and grab something to eat?’
‘I could throw something together, I suppose…’
He wanted to press the wrinkle between her brows until it smoothed away. ‘As nice as it is to sample your dishes, I was thinking you deserve somebody else to do the work tonight.’ His knee bounced, hitting the steering wheel like it was trying to match Rae’s speed. ‘There’s a restaurant by Loch Eil that’s supposed to do braw steaks. What do you think? My treat.’
Finally, Rae’s grip on the notepad loosened, but it didn’t give him cause to celebrate. When she tugged back, he knew that he’d crossed an invisible line. He hadn’t necessarily meant the invitation as a date… he didn’t think. Just two friends enjoying a well-earned meal together after a busy day. If he happened to enjoy looking at her, listening to her, making her laugh, was that such a problem?
‘I think…’ Rae stuttered for a moment. ‘I think I still have work to do, but thank you for all your help today, Struan. Really. I appreciate it.’
‘Rae…’ It was the only protest he could utter out. She had every right to dismiss him. She was probably sick of him and ready to wind down.
Only, she leaned in, thigh hitting the gear stick, and a burst of adrenaline rushed through him in response. He’d felt that tether between them all day, tightening around every part of him, and so he didn’t think as he followed suit, mouth already tingling with the idea of her.
It was their foreheads that met first, a cracking of skulls that had him groaning in pain.
She did the same, cradling the spot just above her right eyebrow. ‘I was going in for a hug!’
Shite.
‘Aye, me too,’ he lied, every atom cringing. He wondered if dying from embarrassment wasn’t just a melodramatic metaphor, but actually possible.
This was why he’d given up on dating. He always misread the signs, always assumed people were on the same page as him.
There was chemistry between them. Even if it wasn’t right, even if it was the first time they’d connected in years. Maybe he’d been alone too long in that wee shack of his, or maybe he was imagining something that wasn’t really there, but he’d spent the entire day searching for excuses to draw closer, planning ways he might see her again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, rubbing the throb away with one eye shut.
‘I will be when my brain stops rattling around my skull,’ she muttered. ‘I don’t think we should try to hug each other anymore. It never works.’
His chuckle sounded more like an old engine failing to start, though she certainly had a point. Maybe they’d be better off not coming into contact at all.
Except he wanted to, even if it usually left him and his ego bruised.
Rae tucked her notepad close to her chest, opening the car door with a grimace. ‘You’re… er, welcome to have a brew with my dad if you want. And I saw a tower of microwave meals in the freezer, though I’m sure Gran’s reclaimed her kitchen.’
