‘Sex and stuff. Casual hook-ups.Situationships, Martha would probably call it.’
‘Situationships,’ he repeated, amusement dancing on his lips. ‘Well, this certainly does qualify as a situation. I still fail to see the problem. If you don’t do casual, I told you I’d take you out for dinner.’
She faltered. Had he been serious about that? Did he want to take her on anactualdate?
He stepped closer, taking her hand. She realised moments later it was because she’d been picking her skin again, a habit she’d barely noticed until he’d tried multiple times to stop her. His touch sent a dozen little zaps up her arm, and it was an effort not to move closer.
‘The problem is,’ he continued, ‘it’s going to be very hard to not spend most of it thinking about how badly I’d rather be eatingyouinstead.’
Her walls clenched around nothing, unsatisfied despite the pleasure he’d already brought. Imagining his tongue lapping against her clit, stubble like sandpaper against her thighs…
‘Struan.’ The protest was feeble, wavering on her tongue and carried away by the breeze.
‘We don’t need to work out what this is yet, you know. You could just let it happen.’ He cupped her jaw, tugging her close by the small of her back. His cock nestled against her stomach, hard again already, and her core pulsed in response. Her damp T-shirt chafed her nipples, rougher for every breath rippling through them both in unison. ‘You wouldn’t need to worry. I’d take care of you.’
He leaned closer, his hair tickling her cheek. ‘Allof you. Every sweet’ – a kiss on her jaw – ‘glorious’ – the bridge of her nose – ‘inch’ – her throat – ‘of you.’
Just like before, a switch was clicked and Rae forgot what she’d been panicking about. She fell into him, mouths colliding with more hunger than should have been possible after the satiation they’d already found.
‘You’re vibrating,’ Struan said.
‘I wouldn’t go that far, but the overconfidence is strangely attractive.’
He chuckled, caressing her arse with delightful firmness. ‘I meansomethingis vibrating in your back pocket.’
Her phone. She’d been so caught up in his taste that she hadn’t even noticed the silent buzz – especially since she was used to being too busy to notice.
He slid it out for her, dropping it into her hand. Her stomach twisted at the name on the screen. Martha.
‘I don’t think she’d like this,’ Rae admitted.
‘Does she have to know? At least until we know whatthisis?’
She gulped against a cracked throat. Declining the call, she pulled out of his arms. ‘She’s my best friend. I tell her everything. I couldn’t keep something like this from her, especially not when she’s due to visit in a few weeks.’
Struan’s disappointment gusted between them. ‘So, what are you saying? Fun’s over?’
‘I think… I think it has to be, yeah.’
She expected him to be angry, but his expression held nothing but understanding.
‘All right.’ He nodded. ‘But it doesn’t solve our earlier problem. We can’t just pretend to ignore whatever this is between us. I know you feel it, too, otherwise, this wouldn’t have happened. Believe it or not, I’m usually more of a gentleman – only I couldn’t stop myself with you.’
‘Then maybe we’d be better off avoiding each other until Martha gets here. Let it… fizzle out.’ Her chest tightened. Letting it fizzle out was the last thing she wanted. She’d never felt an exhilaration like this before, and more than that, she liked the way she felt when she was around him. Things she’d lost – humour, playfulness, comfort – had returned in his presence. He’d been a massive help today, and he felt safe, somehow. A soft place to land after eons of rattling between sharp corners and cold concrete.
But he was also just another cause for uncertainty. He’d taken away her control, the very thing she’d needed to survive the last few years. Maybe this silly, impulsive tryst was all they would get, and she’d have to be okay with that, because the alternative felt like standing on a cliff edge, waiting for the wind to carry her somewhere unknown. She was terrified of the future enough already. No need to add messy romantic feelings and the risk of losing her best friend to the mix.
A muscle in Struan’s jaw feathered as he raked the hair off his forehead. ‘Is that what you want? For this to fizzle out?’
‘I think it’s for the best.’
‘Not what I asked.’
She pressed her mouth into a pleading line. ‘For Martha, Struan. And for simplicity. I’m not in a place where I can handle something complicated, and this alreadyfeelscomplicated.’
‘Whatever you need, Little Rae. I suppose I’ll see you around, then.’
‘Yeah.’ The affirmation came out small, mouse-like, leaving a bitter aftertaste she couldn’t swallow as she watched him walk away, all hunched, strong shoulders and soft middle. He didn’t stop to turn back, and she pretended that meant things were normal again, a reset button pressed.
