‘I love you, Rae, but it’s hard to be your friend when only one of us is even vaguely in the modern world. How am I meant to reach you? Send a carrier pigeon?’ Martha’s blue eyes glittered with the promise of tears, and guilt sank in Rae’s stomach.
‘I know. I’m really, really sorry. I’ll do better.’
‘Is something going on with you? Should I be worried?’
‘No. No, everything’s fine.’ Rae had thought it was the truth until her voice wobbled.
‘Right.’ Martha sighed like she knew it, too. ‘I was only calling because Vik and I were trying to plan our trip. We wanted to come earlier, and I wanted to check it was okay before I booked the trains.’
‘Of course it’s okay. How much earlier?’ If it was this week, Rae might seriously consider her earlier plans to drown in the bathtub. There was no way things with Struan could return to normal before then, and he’d be around constantly to spend time with Martha and Vik.
‘Well, my last graduation ceremony is next week, so the following Monday?’
Okay. That was ample time to sort out her feelings and/or start a new life far, far away. She’d always wanted to visit Antarctica.
‘Sounds good.’ She forced a smile. ‘I’m really excited to see you.’
Martha’s grunt dripped with disbelief.
‘Iam!’ Rae vowed. She shifted nervously against her pillows, wondering if she should tell her about Struan now, when things were already fraught, or wait until she could do it in person. By then, their chemistry would have fizzled out like she’d said, so would there be anything to tell?
Because she was a coward, she decided it better to at least improve Martha’s mood first, forcing a smile so wide it made her cheeks ache. ‘I think I’m going to look for a job closer to home after summer. Maybe there’ll even be something in Edinburgh.’
‘Oh, good. You can ignore me in my own city, then.’
‘Martha… Come on. You can’t pretend you’ve not been busy, too.’
Everything about their friendship had changed when Vik – literally – jogged into the picture. They went from Facetiming three times a week to once, if Rae was lucky. It was part of the reason she struggled with new friendships: she’d always be the single one, the second choice.
‘I’m willing to forgive you if you pick me up from the train station,’ Martha said, a trace of a smile returning.
‘That’s gracious of you.’
‘Or we could keep arguing—’
‘No, thank you,’ Rae pleaded.
‘Oh, another thing!’ Martha brightened. She was equally as good at forgetting a grudge as she was at holding one – for the right people. Rae wasn’t sure she’d qualify asrightfor much longer. ‘The Strawberry Fair will still be at the end of August, aye? Because I’ve invited a pal I want to set up with Struan!’
Rae’s flushed skin suddenly felt icy. ‘Oh?’
‘She’s perfect for him, Rae,’ gushed Martha. ‘Outdoorsy, always out with her dogs, loves travelling, very laid back.Andshe’s gorgeous. Like, model material. He’d be punching, but apparently, she liked what she saw when I showed her his Instagram, so I thought,why not?It’s about time he started getting serious.’
‘Is that what he wants? Something serious?’ Rae tried to sound nonchalant, but her voice quavered. The thought of him with someone else after what they’d just done… made her feel nauseous. Rae was none of the things Martha had just described. She wasn’t laid back, and if she was outdoorsy, it was only for the sake of the farm. She spent the weekends trying new recipes or planning her budget, not hiking around in the wilderness like Struan.
Jesus, they couldn’t even have one casual evening of sex together before she’d completely freaked out on him. Wasn’t that proof enough they’d be a disastrous couple?
‘Well, he says he doesn’t,’ said Martha, ‘but he’s going to become a hermit if he carries on. He hasn’t dated anyone in, like, a year. His problem is that he always goes for people he knows he doesn’t have a chance with,and his stupid jokes mean they don’t really take him seriously, but I reckon he and Emma will be very compatible. She likes his sort of banter. I believe her exact words were that she’d like to climb him like a tree.’
‘That’s… good. Climb away, I say.’ Rae should have been relieved. Soon, Struan would meet his hand-picked match, and they would all go back to the way it used to be. There was no reason to upset Martha in the meantime.
‘He’s not been bothering you again today, has he?’ Martha asked. ‘He’s like a stray puppy. You can’t get rid of him, especially if you feed him.’
Rae spat out a forced laugh. ‘He’s actually been very helpful. We were in town today to deliver some samples of jam, and he made quite the salesman.’
‘That’s good. Although it’s sort of weird you two are hanging out without me.’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘Hang on. Were you ignoring me for my brother?’
‘Of course not. It was work.’ It didn’t count as ignoring if it was unintentional, did it?
