It could also ruin her happy night, and her summer plans, and the most important thing in Rae’s life: their friendship.
So, she replied, ‘No…’
‘Okay. Because I’m only holding half a grudge about how quiet you’ve been, although I might reconsider, if you’re besties with my brother now.’
Rae pressed her lips together, hoping she looked more composed than she felt. ‘You’re not okay with us hanging out?’
Martha shrugged and sipped her wine. ‘It’s just a wee bit weird. You were the one thing we didn’t have to share growing up. Does that sound childish?’
Rae had never thought of it that way. She’d never had a sibling, never been forced to divide all her sweets or share her favourite toys.
Only, Rae wasn’t a toy, and her gut squirmed at the suggestion she was an object Martha owned. It made her feel like aToy Storycharacter with two names printed on the soles of her shoe: Martha on one, Struan on the other.
If Martha couldn’t accept Rae and Struan being friends, she’d never accept the feelings Rae had for him. Feelings she wasn’t ready to admit to, regardless of whether Martha was here or not, because they were too big and heavy and terrifying.
‘I think I just feel left out,’ Martha continued, breaking through the uneasy silence. ‘You don’t have time for me, but I come back to find you’ve had time for him.’
‘It isn’t like that. He was just helping me out. Everything’s been chaotic since I got back.’
‘Right, like your dad getting cosy with Cam’s mum, of all people.Awkward.’
‘Yeah, it was a surprise for me too.’ Rae glanced at them through the kitchen window. Her dad and Myra sat on the patio chairs with Vik, believing themselves to be subtle with their hands interlaced under the table. Myra had offered to leave them to a family dinner, but Rae had insisted she stay. Exposure therapy. If she got used to seeing them together, maybe it wouldn’t feel so strange.
It was sort of working, mostly because Dad’s uncharacteristically sweet admiration of Myra dampened his usual grumpiness. He hadn’t complained about Rae’s ideas once tonight. She’d call it a win.
‘I did actually go for drinks with Cam yesterday,’ Rae added, because otherwise it would come up later, when Martha wasn’t tipsy and happy.
Still, this time her reproach came in the form of a wrinkled nose. ‘Why?’
‘Because we used to be friends?’
‘Yeah, until she broke my heart.’
Rae gave her a flat look. ‘You broke each other’s hearts. And I hurt her by not keeping up with her after.’
‘Boo-hoo,’ Martha said scornfully.
Struan’s return saved her from more barbs. He placed a plastic bag on the counter, scraping his hair back from his eyes. Rae couldn’t help but watch his fingers take the same journey hers had, not hours before. She craved the softness of those strands, the memory feathering over her palms like a ghost. Her stomach sank to think she’d never experience it again. How much of him had she forgotten to drink in because she hadn’t known it would be over so soon?
‘They only had chorizo and prosky-utto,’ he announced.
‘Prosciutto,’ Martha and Rae corrected at the same time.
‘That’s what I said. I did get caramel ice cream for dessert, though. Anything else this humble servant can do for you ladies?’ He bowed with a dramatic flourish. For the first time, Rae saw how much of a performance it was. He wanted to make them laugh, perhaps even at his own expense, but underneath oozed gentleness and subtlety and those unsettlingly sharp abilities of observation, especially when it came to her.
Pathetically, she already missed him. Missed who he was when it was just the two of them with nothing to hide.
‘You can mess up Rae’s cheeseboard so she gives up fiddling and actually serves it to us.’
‘I’d never upset a chef. She could poison our next meal.’
‘Now there’s an idea,’ Rae retorted.
He grinned, plucking a cherry tomato from the plate. She tutted, replacing it to maintain the even number.
‘I’m going to have to get a photo of the sunset.’ Martha hopped off the counter and walked outside. Her hand drifted over Vik’s shoulder as she passed the table, such a natural, loving gesture. A gesture Rae had never known. Nobody ever reached for her, nor she them – except for him.
He was watching her like he wanted to, probably seeing all of that wicked envy written on her face.
