Martha didn’t know that her flat flagstones were a luxury.
‘I only want the best for you,’ Martha continued. ‘And Struan. He needs to be pushed sometimes—’
‘I don’t think he does. I think he’s exactly where he wants to be.’
‘How would you know? You’ve been here for what? A month? Two?’
Rae chewed the inside of her cheek, glancing up at the candyfloss clouds. There was no way out of this without telling the truth.
‘I know because we’ve been spending a lot of time together, Martha. I know because…’ – her fingers dug into her thighs as fear pulsed through her – ‘because I’m falling for him.We’ve been… together. Romantically. He’s…’
Christ, she didn’t even know how to say it. What they were, what they’d done, went beyond words.
‘He’s starting to feel like my person, too,’ she decided on.
Disapproval dripped from Martha’s huff as she leaned back on her palms. Rae bowed her head, her entire body vibrating as she waited for the shouting to commence, the insults, the venom. She’d deserve it. Most of it. She was a liar.
When none of it came, she blurted, ‘It wasn’t planned. I didn’t want this. I knew it was out of line to even consider it—’
‘But you did anyway.’
She nodded. ‘We just… We hoped it would fizzle out before you came home.’
‘This was happeningbefore?’ Martha spat. ‘Jesus, I’m not blind, but I thought it all happened at the wedding last night. I didn’t know you’d been doing this behind my back forweeks!’
Rae’s head snapped up. ‘Youknew?’
‘Do you honestly think you were that subtle? Why do you think I was such a bitch in the car this morning? It was a test, eejit. I was waiting for you to fess up.’
Oh.
Oh.
‘So, you didn’t actually expect me to have a one-night stand with some girl called Jo?’
‘Emma doesn’t evenhavea friend called Jo. Believe me, if there was someone out there looking like the lovechild of Megan Fox and Rachel Weisz, we’d both know.’ Martha rolled her eyes. ‘I just thought I’d piss you both off for lying to me.’
Rae didn’t know what to say. ‘Martha…’
‘You know, we used to tell each other everything.’ For once, the steel in her voice was gone, replaced by something far worse: betrayal. ‘That’s what hurts the most. You didn’t tell me.’
‘I didn’t know how,’ Rae admitted. ‘You were trying to set him up with some girl who was my complete opposite. You wouldn’t have understood.’
‘Because it doesn’t make sense. You’re you… He’s him…’ She shuddered. ‘This is all so fucked.’ She stood up, pacing to the yard’s end where the weathered fence sunk into the soil beneath the crooked fir tree. Rae fixed on her back because she didn’t know what else to do. Eventually, she pulled herself up, keeping a safe distance as she joined Martha.
Picking at the moss on the damp wooden spokes, she said, ‘I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner. I just… I was so out of my depth. I’ve never felt like this before, and it wasn’t supposed to be with him, and I was terrified of losing you.’
‘You’re too good for him, Rae.’
She sucked in a breath. ‘That’s not true. He’s the best man I know. If anything, he’s too good for me.’
Martha massaged her temples. ‘Do you realise how messy this could get? If he fucks you over, what will it do to us? How will we still be best friends if he breaks your heart?’
‘You’re not being fair to him.’
‘You don’t know him like I do!’ she yelled, voice carrying into the surrounding trees. ‘Do you know how many jobs he’s had? How many classes he failed? How many dates he’s never called back? He’s a flake. He thinks he knows what he wants until he doesn’t. He’s always been that way, even when we were kids.He’d beg Mum for the most random fucking bike or toy or whatever, and then he’d never touch it again.’
Frustration built in Rae’s chest. ‘That doesn’tmeananything!’
