“Yeah, it’s probably for the best,” John replied.
Lawson slid into his boxers and jeans, then his socks and worn-down black leather cowboy boots.
John arched his eyebrows in surprise, smiling. Lawson caught his smile, hand hesitating on his black T-shirt. “What?”
“Cowboy boots?” he asked.
Lawson shot him a roguish grin, “If you like these, you should see my hat.”
He chuckled, ignoring how easy it was to picture Lawson wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, cock hard and ready for him. “You really are a cowboy, aren’t ya kid?”
Lawson tugged on his UCLA sweater. “I was on a horse before I could crawl,” he said, his hair ruffled, which he smoothed down with another careless brush of his hand.
He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. Oh, how the youth was wasted on the young, he thought. He was just like Lawson not too long ago, but it all felt so damned far away. He was lucky if he wasn’t waking up to the sight of more gray appearing in his hair, let alone his beard. He was almost tempted to shave the damn thing off because of it. John wasn’t afraid of aging, but considering he just spent the last twenty-something years in the closet, he wanted to enjoy the sex he could have with the men who may still want him. Men like Lawson. Because he liked this. And he wanted more.
But it couldn’t be with Lawson.
Lawson, once fully clothed, shifted nervously, returning to the familiar version of himself that John was used to, maybe even better equipped to handle. Because whatever version of Lawson he experienced in bed made him want more. A hell of a lot more.
Lawson must have seen something in his face and smirked again. “Thanks. This was…”
John sucked in a breath, then exhaled slowly, suddenly feeling apprehensive.
Please don’t say fun.
Sure, it was fun, but John didn’t want to hear that his first time was just ‘fun’. It meant more to John than that, and he intended to keep this information to himself. Lawson had simply been the means to an end. John now knew, for afact, that he was unequivocally gay, having never orgasmed that intensely in his entire life. Sex with women was enjoyable, and he found release almost every time. But this—this was different.
“I won’t say anything,” Lawson reassured, then shifted again. “I really liked this, just so you know.”
John swallowed hard, refusing to say anything, not wanting to give Lawson or himself hope of this happening again.
“See you Monday, Dr. Donnelly.” His blue eyes sparkled with a confidence that John couldn’t look away from.
Who the hell was this man, and what happened to the fumbling Lawson he knew?
Christ, please leave this room before I ask you to stay and fuck me again.
He scrubbed a hand over his jaw in mild shock and watched Lawson leave.
Once the door was firmly shut behind him, John climbed out of bed, turned on the bathroom’s shower, and stepped beneath the hot spray. His body, like a tightly wound knot, was unraveling the longer he stood there. An incredulous smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, thinking of Lawson… thinking how quickly the night had possibly become the best one he’d had in months.
Maybe even years.
After showering, John returned to bed, darkness descending on him as he waited for the thoughts that always came in the silent stillness of night. But instead, his mind was blissfully empty.
The cliff, where he usually stood so precariously close, had vanished.
Relief dropped into his belly and he sighed, drifting off to sleep, hearing the deep timber of Lawson’s calm, soothing voice and the feel of soft kisses fluttering over his frozen shoulder.
Chapter 5
Wyatt
One week later
Wyatt tried to keep his gaze fixed on the patient board, which was already lit up this morning with plenty of red. There were still overnight patients who needed to be seen, and the lobby was packed. He knew they had a full load today, and he needed to be efficient and quick. When the ED got swamped like this, it meant everyone became more focused, more intentional with their treatment. And Dr. Donnelly became the tip of the spear, leading them through, steady and reassuring. This was when he was at his absolute finest as a leader.
And irresistibly fucking sexy.
