“True, but still.”
He sighed, “We miss you… Every day.” His throat closed, and he cleared it. “We know you miss us too, and one day in this grand universe, we’ll all be together again. But until then, thank you for bringing the laughter into every conversation, especially the serious ones. Thanks for being the best big brother we could’ve ever asked for. I’m sorry we couldn’t…” he paused, thinking about his last conversation with Jacob, and how often over the years John had tortured himself for it. But eventually, he had forgiven himself. And deep down, he knew Jacob did, too.
Eyes brimming with tears, he blinked hard, feeling himself resist his emotions.
And then he heard Wyatt’s voice in his mind.
“You’re a storm that gives and vanishes… Don’t vanish…”
For the first time in his life, John gave himself permission to cry.
Justine leaned back to glance up at him, concern etched on her face.
“I’m—” Fine? No. He wasn’t, and he wasn’t going to say that. “I’m sad.”
She nodded, hugging him closer. “Me too.”
Heart opening, John began again, this time meaning every word. “In case you can hear us, wherever you are, we forgive you for leaving us. We know you didn’t want to. We will always love you no matter what,” he whispered, squeezing his sister against him. “Justine could’ve used an extra uncle to help with the kids…”
She laughed, her tears glinting in the sunlight. “So true.”
They stood there a moment longer, holding each other and letting the tears fall.
“It feels weird without mom and dad,” Justine confessed.
“They’re here in spirit. We can pick up some ice cream or hot chocolate on the way back. I’m sure Olive would like that.”
Justine arched her head back, scrutinizing him. “You’re being awfully nice today.”
“I’m always nice.” He sounded peevish even to his own ears.
“Not lately…” she said with a long sigh. “I dunno how to say this to you, but I want to.”
“So just say it.”
“This last year, you’ve kinda been a dick.”
He snorted and rubbed his knuckles through her hair. She yelped, shoving him away. “You’re gonna mess up my mess!”
They both laughed. Olive popped up from the leaves roaring with her dinosaur, the doll's head severed from her plastic neck.
“Doll’s gonna need surgical,” he commented drily.
“I like you like this,” Justine said, a genuine affection in her tone. “Whatever you’re doing—keep doing it.”
He blinked, averting his gaze and feeling an unexpected blush form on his cheeks, immediately thinking about Wyatt. “Sure thing, captain.”
Justine stepped forward, eyes widening, and snatched the sunglasses off his face. “Oh my God, you’re dating someone?”
He opened his mouth to reply, then promptly closed it again.
How the hell was he supposed to have this conversation? He had secretly hoped that coming out to his family would involve several bottles of wine. He wasn’t ready to have it in front of Jacob’s gravestone, and yet he knew Jacob would’ve loved this. He always loved life’s little or big surprises.
And this would certainly be a surprise.
Finding out that her brother, after forty-plus years, was gay. Because he certainly was after all the incredibly dirty, erotic things Wyatt had been doing to him for the past month.
“What the fuck?” Justine stared, incredulously. “You’re supposed to tell me everything, that was our deal.”
