Then his mouth moved down to encircle the peak of one breast, and this time, oh, God, it was too much. She trembled at the sensual onslaught and, as if he realised it, he lifted his head. ‘Kate. Sweetheart, do you want me to stop?’
‘No!’ She really meant it. ‘No. It’s just that… Please, Dan. I’m ready for more.’
That dark look of desire in his eyes shook her to her core. She had no defences against this man, and neither did she want them. His fingers stroked again and she was astonished as she felt one, no, two fingers slide inside her. She lifted her hips to greedily welcome them, though it still wasn’t enough.You are shameless, she was telling herself,quite shameless. What must she look like? She knew that she was naked and blatantly revelling in this man’s delicious attentions, and she did not care.It might be only for one night, but this was something she would remember for the rest of her life—and then came the moment when all thought stopped, for he was starting to ease himself inside her.
It felt strange, almost alien at first and she tensed. But it was as if her body recognised the blunt intrusion, as if it knew that this signalled the beginning of much more and welcomed it gladly. As Dan began to thrust, steady and deep, she clutched at his hard-muscled shoulders because the magic had begun and she was climbing, climbing to a pinnacle of sensations. Within moments his movements were stronger and, just when she thought she could bear it no more, he reached to caress her with his fingertip, downtherewhere her acute need was centred. Then he plunged deep.
Her body arched to meet him and as the pleasure-storm began to engulf her, she held on to him as if holding on for life itself. She thought she cried out his name and other words besides, then he was kissing her mouth, her throat, her breasts for what seemed an endless time until the waves of soul-piercing delight slowly receded. He waited until she lay quite still, then he pulled away with his back to her, and she realised he was bringing himself to his own release.
She lay there, missing him until he returned to lie beside her and enfold her in his arms. ‘Thank you,’ she said softly.
He chuckled in that husky way she loved so much. ‘My pleasure, believe me.’
She smiled. ‘Oh, yes.’ She hesitated. ‘But it can’t be quite the same for you.’
‘I’m used to it.’
‘Even with Cecily?’
‘Even with Cecily. I decided there should be no pregnancy before marriage, since it’s a tactic many women use to trap a man.’ There was a bitter note in his voice now. ‘It’s almost as if Iguessed the marriage wouldn’t go ahead, that something would go wrong, and it did.’
‘You told me your betrothal was a mistake. I’m sorry.’
‘A mistake indeed.’ He was winding a loose strand of her hair around his finger. ‘Kate, what I didn’t tell you—what I’ve actually told no one—is that she was unfaithful to me. I found her in bed with another man.’
‘While you werebetrothed?’
‘While we were betrothed.’
She whispered, ‘Was she out of her mind?’
He gave a rather hollow laugh and put his arm around her. ‘No, though I was, not to see it coming. When I met her, she was a rich young widow enjoying her freedom. But at some point, she must have decided I would make a fine husband because of my money and my status, and like a fool, I was lured in. But I caught her in bed with an army captain one afternoon when I called at her house, and you can imagine, I think, that finding her romping in another man’s arms didn’t encourage me to believe in true love. In fact I never will again. She swore on her life it was only the once, that it was a mistake. It was a mistake indeed, on my part, to have ever trusted her.’
Kate said quietly, ‘That is awful.’
She didn’t think he missed Cecily, far from it, but she guessed that his scarred soul would never heal enough for him to commit to love. He was not for her, she had always known that, but even so she felt something hurting deep inside. This was a reminder for her, a warning that he’d probably never believed in love since his mother fled and left his father unable to bear the sight of the sons she had given him. Just now it seemed to her that this man, with all the privileges life could offer, was one of the loneliest people she’d ever met.
When she spoke again, she was proud that her voice was calm. ‘Dan, tonight has been wonderful. But as I’ve told you, I have no foolish dreams of fairytale romance.’
He was still holding her, and she could hear the steady beating of his heart—his strong, proud heart. He was hers tonight, and she would always have this to remember.
‘Kate.’ He moved closer and gathered her fully in his arms. ‘Kate, I don’t want you to think that all that has happened between us has meant nothing to me. I have never had any intention of hurting you.’
‘You couldn’t.’ Gently she was stroking back his rumpled hair. ‘I’ve reminded you often—haven’t I?—that I’m not a foolish young debutante. I’m determined to live life in my own way, because I’ve spent too long having to bend to the whims of others. Tonight has been marvellous, but I shall demand no more of you, because I know exactly how you feel.’
She saw Dan smile at that. ‘Do your worst, then. Tell me how I feel.’
‘I think,’ she said, ‘that you regard love as dangerous.’
‘I do. It leads to people either being hurt or hurting others, badly.’
‘I can see that. I really can,’ she said earnestly. ‘But you must not let your bitterness over the past define you, Dan. Refusing to forgive, harbouring resentment, is a sure way of wounding yourself—my aunt once told me that, and it’s something I remind myself of, over and over.’
‘Do you mean you’ll actually forgive your father and sister for destroying those letters?’
‘I feel I must try.’
He was silent. Then he said, ‘You are a good person. I am not.’
