“Izzy and I…talk about it sometimes. Izzy’s mom is the same, except… Izzy never really loved her mom because she was awful. And Sarabeth’s dad was actually terrible too. I know that’s worse, but…they get to hate the bad adult in their life. I just love mine. And I want her to come home, but she won’t. Not for me. And I know, I know, it’s not aboutme. It’s about her. And drugs, but… I want her to come home. I want to be enough for her to make that choice, even if that’s not…what it’s about.”
Lia was quiet for a few moments, because Sammy was certainly more mature than Lia had been at fifteen. Of course, Lia had been…in a much worse situation withoutanyresponsible adults. But maybe that meant Sammy was ready to hear some things Lia had been forced to learn on her own, in her early twenties instead of her teens.
“That feeling you have of not being enough? I don’t know that it ever goes totally away, at least for me. But the more I have pursued the things I love and surrounded myself with people I love who love me back, the less it hurts, the less it matters. It’s still there, it’s still a truth in my darkest moments. But it’s not the only thing.”
Sammy looked over at Lia then. Lia didn’t know if she’d really absorbed the words, but sheseemedto consider them. So Lia went for broke.
“This isyourlife, not hers. You can’t control her. Or anyone. But you can control you. So build a life that makesyouhappy. And when you’re sad, there will be people there to hold your hand.”
“If I don’t treat them like crap,” Sammy said, somewhat sarcastically.
Lia wanted to give her a smile, but… “I think you know your uncle will be holding your hand no matter how badly you treat him. But treating him like crap won’t make you feel any better, so you might as well try not to.”
Sammy blew out a long breath. “I just don’t want it to hurt so much.”
Lia took Sammy’s hand in hers. Squeezed. “I know.” There was nothing else to say to that. Didn’t everybody wish that sometimes? But hurt was the human condition, because it was the other side of love.
Sammy reached across the center console and wrapped her arms around Lia and squeezed. So Lia squeezed back.
“I’m so glad I have you,” Sammy said into her shoulder.
Lia had a hard time speaking through the lump in her throat. She hadn’t expected…any of this when she’d offered Sammy a job all those weeks ago. She’d thought she was doing some Good Samaritan thing.
Instead, Sammy was…turning into this bright spot in Lia’s own life, her own heart. “I’m glad I have you too.”
“I’m sorry about today. I just…” Sammy pulled back, tears welling in her eyes again.
“I get it,” Lia said firmly. “Sometimes when it hurts too much, a bad attitude is the only thing we’ve got. But you didn’t ruin anything. Mistakes happen. We’ll start over. No harm. No foul.”
Sammy looked at the bakery’s back entrance through the car window. Lia could see she was dreading going back inside.
Maybe she should force her to face it, but right now she just…wanted to give Sammy anything she wanted.
“You want to go for a drive?”
“Where?”
“I don’t know. Just…drive.”
“What about the bakery?”
“Albennie can handle it.”
“Okay. Yeah.” Her smile was tremulous, but it was a smile. So Lia texted Albennie, and she and Sammy drove around Bent County, listening to music and just…breathing. They didn’t talk. Didn’t have to.
It was good enough just to be.
Chapter Nine
Gard focused on work. His zone, not trafficking rings or Dani’s shitty text message to Sammy or even the name the restaurant manager had given him.
Because he’d made a deal with himself when Sammy had cried all over him about his broken nose. Dani had contacted Sammy, no matter how cryptically, and that meant he couldn’t keep poking into her disappearance.
She’d made her choices. She was alive. She’d come back when she was ready, and he’d deal with the aftermath. The end.
He really knew that should be the end. But the name the restaurant manager had given him was now stuck in his head.
What did it hurt to look into the guy? Just make sure he wasn’t a criminal. That whatever job offer Dani had taken wasn’t activelyhurtingher. It was only his due diligence—not breaking his promise to himself, because he wasn’tlookingfor Dani.
