He didn’t generally get nervous about dates, but it was easy to realize why he was in this moment.
Gard had never really entertained serious before. He realized in this moment that even when he’d been a kid, there’d always been somethingelsethat required his attention—good grades, getting into law school, then Dani and Sammy. Even when Dani had her life together, his demanding, ever-changing work schedule that sometimes required overtime at the drop of the hat often caused relationships to peter out.
Dating was easy. Relationships weren’t. Particularly when he devoted so much time to his jobandDani and Sammy.
Lia was hardly just a date. And still, somehow everything felt easy with her. Even working around Sammy’s schedule. It wasn’t like Lia was some separate part to be added on top of everything else. It was like she slotted right in.
Gard could admit it wasn’t the mostcomfortablerealization. If he thought too hard on it, he got a little nervous. Like every little step with Lia was stamping his future in stone.
But that was silly. Life was full of choices—including ones that could change everything at the drop of the hat. He knew that better than most. There was no avoiding it. Choices came at you whether you wanted them to or not.
Besides, he hadn’t been lying about thewow. Sure, Lia always looked pretty. He’d been attracted to her from the start, but her hair down softened…something. It added to this layer of vulnerable he’d seen under that tough outer mask she wore.
Maybe there was something twisted in him, but he liked the dichotomy. He thought it spoke to courage. He respected the hell out of courage.
The restaurant wasn’t upscale exactly—he didn’t think Lia would have been comfortable with that any more than he would be—but it was a few steps up from HJs.
She sat across from him in the dim light, studying the menu. “Sammy told me she was disappointed in my palate. Which made me think I should try something new, but…”
“Have you been having nightmares about the cheese sauce like I have?”
She laughed, grinning up at him over her menu. “Thatandthe peas in the potpie. They might be my two food archnemeses.”
“Peas and bad cheese sauce. Mushrooms and fishy pizza toppings. Got it.”
Her grin faded a little bit, but not in a bad way. Like she was surprised he remembered what she’d said at the pizza place about what toppings she liked.
Which hadn’t even been a conscious choice. Just like he’d been telling himself before. Lia just…slotted right in.
They ordered and settled into an easy conversation that mostly revolved around Sammy. Her interests at the bakery. And the things shewasn’tinterested in. Like cleaning. Gard didn’t mind focusing on Sammy to ease their way in, but it meant he wasn’t quite expecting it when Lia changed the subject.
“Why did you decide not to go to law school?” she asked, like that was a question that had been sitting in her head since Sammy had told her about it last weekend. “Was it because of Sammy?”
Gard considered. He knew all the reasons. He’d had to mine them in family therapy. But he wasn’t always sure he knew how to articulate them. “Yes, but not quite in the way you mean. It wasn’t just to…support them. It was a choice I made for me too.”
“You didn’t want to be a lawyer?”
“I’m honestly not sure. It was just always a given. Dad’s a lawyer. Grandpa’s a judge. Great-Grandpa was a lawyer, judge,andstate senator. And so on. So it was just always…expected. I probably would have been good at it. I might have even liked it, but…more than what I liked or would have been good at, Dani getting pregnant was the turning point of me realizing I needed to do something on my own. Without the Fairhurst name or Dad’s interference.”
“You said Dani was good at debate. Was she planning on law school too?”
Gard shook his head. “No. There were expectations for Dani too, but…well, they were different for thefemaleFairhurst. Her role wasn’t tobeanybody. It was to look perfect and find the right husband.”
Lia got a little still at that, so he hurried on so she didn’t thinkhesubscribed to that way of thinking.
“Even back then, I thought they were a little old-fashioned, but I was also young and selfish and thought Dani was…overreacting when she complained about the difference. Being a baby or a girl or whatever insult worked. When she’d complain about that stuff, I didn’t really listen. My life was just fine, you know.”
Lia nodded, but of course she didn’t know. She’d run away from home at fifteen. A story he really wanted to hear. Which probably meant laying his out there. It was only fair.
“Dani always…rebelled against their expectations, but it got pretty bad in high school. I was off at college in Michigan. I didn’t consider what she was doing addiction-wise then. So she drank socially and underage? I had. The pot was a little bit of aconcern, but I just figured she was trying to shock our parents. And I knew me telling her not to wasn’t going to accomplish anything. I thought she’d…grow out of it.”
It still sat with the weight of guilt that he’d been so…self-absorbed. That he hadn’t answered Dani’s calls for help until…
“When she found out she was pregnant, I was the first person she told. Well, aside from the asshole boyfriend of hers. She wanted to run away but needed help. I sure as hell didn’t know what to do, but I really thought running away wasn’t the answer. So, I convinced her to tell our parents. We planned it for when I was home on break, so I could go with her. I knew they’d be furious, but I thought… I really thoughtIcould reason with them. Maybe they wouldn’t listen to her, but they always listened to me.”
“But not this time?”
He shook his head. “They gave her two choices. Have an abortion or never step foot in their home again.”
