Jago’s face crumpled. ‘Scared you? Rita, I’d never mean to do that, ever.’
‘You sent a message saying you needed to talk. No kisses. No warmth. Just that. And then I get there andshe’sat your door. What am I supposed to think?’ He reached out halfway, like he wanted to touch her hand but wasn’t sure she’d let him, but Rita was off again. ‘I don’t want her there with you. Before the other day, you hadn’t seen her for five bloody years. Sounds like she has friends in Surrey. Or just tell her to get an Airbnb.’
‘He’s wiped the joint account, and she has no cash of her own. She just wanted to get away from him.’
‘How convenient.’ Rita shook her head. ‘Well, I’m not happy and…’
Jago stood to hug her. She pushed him away.
‘You need to trust me, Rita, but let me see what I can do. But honestly, there’s nothing between me and Elodie now; it’sAmélie I feel sorrier for. You have to believe that. In my eyes, you are a goddess, Rita Jory. And I don’t want anyone else.’
Even his attempt at a lopsided smile couldn’t win her over. All she could think of was her getting fatter, more hormonal, and more unreasonable whilst the beautiful ex, Elodie, perched like a smug Parisian time bomb back at Hawthorn Acre.
‘I only want to hear from you when she’s gone,’ Rita snarled.
‘Put yourself in her shoes with a young child, please.’ Jago swallowed hard. ‘I’ll sort it out, but please don’t shut me out, Rita. I’m caught between a rock and hard place here.’
Wow, maybe this would be the time to say it. She took a breath but before she could speak, the crunch of tyres echoed behind them. Both their heads turned.
Thered Mini glided into view. Rita’s pulse plunged.
‘Oh, perfect,’ she muttered.
The car door opened.
Elodie stepped out, glossed lips, hair that hadn’t frizzed even in the rain. Amélie unfolded behind her like a small, wary shadow.
Jago approached her. ‘What are you doing? How did you even know I was here?’
Her gaze slid to Rita, cool, dismissive, a silentI win.
Grimacing, Rita tried to walk as casually as she could back to her car, knowing full well she had already said far more in anger than any rational, non-hormonal person would. Calling over her shoulder, she spat, ‘I’ll leave you to it.’ Somewhere above, she imagined her mother shaking her head at her spectacular lack of calm.
‘Rita, wait…’ Jago called.
But she didn’t. She continued, head high, throat burning, heart splitting neatly in two.
If she turned back, if she even looked at him, she might say it. But not now. Not with that woman standing ten feet away wearing pity, like perfume.
Behind her, Jago said her name again, voice breaking. But Rita kept walking toward the Jimny, the increasing wind tugging at her jumper, waves crashing on the cliffs below. Not today. Not yet. Not withherback in the picture.
SIXTEEN
It was gone six when Rita pushed open the farmhouse door. The comforting scent of home curled around her as she made a cup of peppermint tea and carried it to the bathroom. After a long, hot bath, she felt calmer. Putting on baggy leggings and a sweatshirt and settling on the comfy old two-seater sofa in the den, she reached for the book she had got from Jude, set it on her knee, and put her head back on the soft cushions. She needed time to sit, to think, to stay as calm as she could. There was no point screaming or shouting. Jago was his own person; he would do what he would do, and all she could control were her own actions. But right now, she was not sure what that meant.
Her thoughts drifted back to one of the notes left in the Singing Tree last year:If you don’t know what to do, do nothing and let the answer come to you.
But what answer did she really want? Having a baby at her age would be hard. What if the retreat faltered and she didn’t have enough money? What if Jago truly shunned her? What if her own kids thought she was being reckless and disowned her? She put a hand to her middle-aged soft tummy and let herself imagine it growing. Maybe it would be better all round if shedidn’thave this baby. Kelly and Zenya would back her whatever her decision. Nobody ever need know she was pregnant. There would be no need for any grand announcements, and she could just go back to how she was.
She closed her eyes for a moment and made a little whimpering sound at the enormity of the decision before her.
She was just about to try and escape from her whirling mind into her book when the doorbell rang. Sighing, she headed to the hallway and opened the door to find Teo holding two plain brown parcels.
‘Evening, Rita. These are for Hilda.’
Rita took them and set them on the counter. ‘Thanks… actually, whilst you’re here, do you mind if I check the Ring camera footage on your phone for a minute?’
‘No problem.’ Teo reached into his pocket for his handset.
