‘I think we’ve been here before and it worked out OK.’ Zenya’s reply was warm. ‘Your wall of protection just flew up and surrounded you and those baby boys of yours in there.’ Zenya nodded to her tummy.
‘Boys?’
‘Yes, that’s what I’m sensing.’ Zenya squeezed Rita’s hand. ‘But whatever is going on with you and Jago, you can’t control other people, Rita. You can only decide how you respond. You get to choose your path, not anyone else. You feel torn because you care so much, but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice yourself in the process.’
‘He’s given her money.’
‘So what, it’s not your money. And if he thinks Amélie is his, then of course he has. I hate to bring it up but look at what Archie did for Teo. He didn’t love you any less; he just wanted to do right by his son.’
‘Oh God, you’re so wise, Zen.’
‘No, I’m not, I’m just not clouded with emotion or have a million hormones running around my body like you have at the moment.’
Rita sighed deeply. ‘Jago has had enough of me now, too; he didn’t follow.’
‘Of course he didn’t follow; he’s probably learned that an angry Rita Jory is not a rational one. Actually, who is ever rational when angry? I bet even the Dalai Lama has his moments.’
Rita smiled briefly. ‘I don’t know if I can keep going like this. I keep thinking I should be strong, but inside… I just feel… lost. And if I blurt out about the babies, I don’t want his sympathy; I want his full love and support. And at the moment he has too much going on.’
‘Then you let yourself be lost for a while,’ Zenya soothed. ‘It’s not weakness. It’s just… human. And sometimes, the moments when we feel the most fragile are the ones that teach us the most.’
Rita sniffed loudly. ‘It’s such a mess.’
‘Yes, it is.’ Zenya was matter-of-fact. ‘But it doesn’t have to be. I think you two are great together. Relationships aren’t perfect. He doesn’t want her. Amélie, of course, is a different matter, but Madame Sin, no way!’
‘But because the little one is only five, they will come as a package, for years. We will never be rid of her and by the look of it that’s her goal.’ Rita rested her head on Zenya’s shoulder and assumed a childlike voice. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you right now.’
‘Rita. Just be. Breathe. Let yourself feel. Tomorrow we can think about decisions, choices, what you need to do next. Or, even better, give it the seventy-two-hour rule.’
Rita screwed her face up. ‘Seventy-two-hour rule?’
‘Yeah,’ Zenya added. ‘Don’t make any big moves, say anything rash, or do anything dramatic for three days. Let your head catch up with your heart. You’d be amazed what clarity comes with a bit of time.’
Rita snorted. ‘Three days? That’s practically an eternity.’
Zenya grinned. ‘Exactly. But I’ve followed it for most of my life. One of the better pieces of advice from a social worker. By then, either you’ve cooled off, or you’re absolutely sure. Either way, you don’t regret it.’
Rita sighed deeply. ‘I like that.’
‘Good, but for now, it’s enough to just… sleep,’ Zenya comforted. ‘Oh, and tomorrow is the guests’ last night and final moonlight mantra. Maybe you can let the stones do the thinking for you then.’
Rita turned on a smile. ‘Talking of relationships… is there something I should know about Priya? Because for what it’s worth, I think she’s an amazing human being.’
‘We made love,’ Zenya offered with no hesitation. ‘After the cliff walk.’
‘Wow, OK.’ Rita sat back upright.
‘I’ve dated men, but after what happened to me… you know… at the children’s home, I never felt safe in myself. Could never let anyone get close. I’ve been attracted to women before, but never to this degree. It’s deeper. I’m really into her.’
Zenya’s whole face lit up, her sharp features catching the soft kitchen light. Rita noticed there was a striking beauty to her; she took in the sparkle in her eyes. ‘Oh, Zen, this makes me so happy.’ A pause. ‘And just think of the reviews for the retreat.’
They both burst out laughing.
‘That’s better.’ Zenya grinned.
‘That cow also shared the video of Cass going to kiss me when we were at the harbour, then alluded that I’d done the same with resort guests in plural. It was a bizarre comment as how she would even know about Paul last year, I have no idea.’
Zenya was agog. ‘Jesus, Rita, you missed telling me that little spill of tea.’
