Jude grins, then takes my hand. “Not anymore.”
My smile returns, but I pause. “Wait, you said I helped you out of your relationship…what does that mean?”
Jude hesitates. “Well…after the Halloween party, I knew I could no longer deny my feelings for you, and I didn’t think I should stay with Nikki if I had feelings for someone else.”
My jaw drops. “You and Nikki broke up because of me?”
“Notbecauseof you. Because of how I felt about you. Nothing you did caused us to break up.”
I shake my head. “Man. I had no idea. How did she respond to that?”
“Badly,” Jude admits. “She was convinced you were in love with me from day one.”
“Oh, shit. You never told me that.”
“I mean, I told you she was jealous of you.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess so.”
“But, enough about Nikki,” Jude says, taking both my hands in theirs. “This is all that matters now.”
My stomach flutters. “Agreed.”
Jude guides me to the bed and gestures for me to sit. I obey, reversing our height difference so Jude has to bend down to kiss me. I wrap my arms around their torso, spread my legs wider,and pull them closer as we kiss, slow and sweet. Jude cradles my jaw with one hand and rests the other on my shoulder.
“Can I sit on your lap?” Jude asks breathlessly, slowly straddling me.
I nod. “Mhm.”
As soon as their weight settles on my lap, I understand why they asked. Every cell in my body is set ablaze with an unfamiliar desire, and my jeans feel much, much tighter.
“Actually, maybe not,” I grunt. “I’m sorry, I’m just not?—”
“Hey, don’t be sorry,” Jude replies as they maneuver off my legs. “You’re setting boundaries, and that’s good.”
The guilt creeps in anyway, and I remember why I didn’t think we’d be compatible in the first place. “Actually, maybe we should… we should stop.”
Jude frowns. “Okay, of course. What’s on your mind?”
I shake my head. “I love you. Like, so, so much. But I don’t think—I mean, I don’t think we should—" My voice cracks. Shit. I thought I could do this.
“Oliver, what’s going on?”
“I’m still…I’m still ace,” I manage, fighting the lump in my throat. “And you’re not.”
“So what?”
I cast my gaze downward. “Do I have to spell it out for you?” I ask with a dry laugh.
Jude tilts my chin up to look at them. “Oliver. I don’t need sex to be happy.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “You may notneedit, but you want it, so you should have it. You deserve to be happy with a partner who can make you happy.”
“Oliver—”
“It really is okay. We’ll figure this out. It might—” My voice cracks again. “It might take time, but we’ll both find someone else, and?—”
“Oliver, stop it,” Jude’s tone sharpens. “Look at me, dammit.”
