“Are you interested in dating at all?”
I exhale softly, relieved. That’s not a serious question at all. “Of course. Who isn’t?” I answer flippantly.
Theo shifts in his seat, and when I turn to look at him, his dark brown eyes are boring into mine. “Are you, though?”
I snort. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know,” Theo continues. “You haven’t really seemed interested in anyone since, like, ninth grade.”
“So?”
“Look, it’s okay if you’re not,” Theo holds his hands up defensively. “But if you want to get back into dating, and you’re just not sure where to start… I don’t know, maybe Caleb and I can help.”
“Help?” I scoff. “How could you help with something like that?”
“I don’t know, dude, I’m just…” he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck. Theo always does that when he’s nervous, but it’s annoying knowing I’m the one causing it. “I just want to make sure you’re happy.”
“Do I not seem happy to you?”
Theo considers my question. “No, it’s not—no, you seem fine, but?—”
“Exactly, because Iamfine! More than fine—I’m excited! About living here with you, about starting school, about experiencing freedom and fun and all that college shit.” I pause until Theo’s eyes are back on me. “I’m good!”
Theo breathes out a sigh and shakes his head. “Yeah, no, you’re right. Sorry.”
“It’s cool, man,” I say with a smile, lounging back into the couch cushions. “Besides, I’m about to meet a ton of new people this week at school. Surely there’s someone out there who can handle all ofthis.” I gesture down at my lanky body with a confident grin.
Theo laughs and throws his empty soda can at me.
“Uh oh, what did I miss?” Caleb says, his eyes bright with curiosity as he returns to his spot on the sofa.
Theo retrieves his controller from the coffee table. “Nothing, we?—”
“We were just debating on which of the Pikmin is the cuntiest,” I interject.
“What!? No, we weren’t!”
Caleb bursts into giggles. “Well, damn, I picked the wrong time to take a bathroom break!”
We all have a laugh, and before long, we’re back in the game, and all is as it should be. I try not to dwell on Theo’s unexpected invasiveness, but it’s hard not to.
The truth is, Ihavebeen interested in dating before, but I realized it wasn’t quite worth the hype. But given how much my friends obsess over that sort of thing, I decided not to bring it up with them until it got serious. Lucky for me, nothing ever did.
But maybe things will be different now. In some ways, they have to be. It’s the start of a new chapter in my life, and pretty soon I’ll have to start making actual decisions about my future.I have some time, but eventually I’ll have to declare a major and build my class schedule around it. I’ll need to find a real job, and maybe even an internship. God, I’ll probably have to show up to professional events to “network.” I feel like I'm about to break out in hives just thinking about it.
On second thought, maybe dating is the last thing I should care about. There’s already too much other shit to deal with.
For tonight, all I have to worry about is virtually beating the shit out of Theo and Caleb until we get bored or fall asleep. Everything else is a problem for future Oliver to deal with.
That poor bastard.
Sunday, August 24, 2025
“Shit, shit, shit!”
My eyes shoot open, a surge of adrenaline spiking through my veins at the panicked voice coming from somewhere beside me. “Wh-what’s wrong?” I mumble through the sleepiness.
The comforter shifts violently next to me as my girlfriend scrambles out of bed. “It’s 7:15,” Nikki hisses. “I’m going to be late for my TA meeting. Fuck!”
