And hey, I understand.
It’s damn scary to desire something forbidden.
I learned that the hard way back home.
Getting a stiff cock for another guy?
Catching feelings for a dude?
Not something that’s easy to confess.
Especially under this roof, where tough Aussie blokes are the norm.
He barely makes eye contact in the kitchen after that.
Not with me, anyway.
He flirts openly with a waitress named Sutton once or twice.
Even makes some crude comment about her boobs after she's walked out of the room.
That gets a few cheers from the boys.
But not from the boy who loves him.
???
The next few years blur together, like pages stuck by a spilled drink.
Perhaps my mind has muted them.
An attempt to avoid rehashing the loneliness I felt whenever we were in a group.
As each season passes, the tree outside my window blooms and withers.
So does my hope of ever being worthy.
Worthy of being anything more than a secret.
I distract myself with other pursuits as best as I can.
I ace my hospo course.
Beth sends care packages and encouraging texts or calls to nudge me along.
I’m still ten or eleven months shy of eighteen when the final semester ends.
So I enrol in a second year.
A certificate in event planning this time.
The credits aren’t much, but it will boost my application to university later.
Porter has become disenchanted with books and tests.
He’s chosen a slightly different path.
Learning on the job feels more valuable to him than some piece of paper.
