It scares her.
She puts Rocco in charge and takes a leave of absence.
Porter picks her up from the airport.
She moves in with me for the next six weeks.
Food and sleep have lost all appeal.
If it wasn't for her, I’d probably starve.
Guess that makes it twice that she’s saved me from myself.
She nudges me to shower and brush my teeth.
She checks on me during the night.
Roz and Sutton help Beth pack everything into boxes.
Less than half of it is mine.
The rest of our belongings get put into storage until Olsen can ship them overseas.
I can barely look at any of it.
When I buy a new bed it feels wrong.
I cry into my pillow for more than a month, daring myself not to reach for the bottle.
Porter pours my booze down the sink every time he gets the chance.
He finds two full bottles that I hid in the recycling.
Thought I was being clever with that one.
Unshaven, sloppy, drunk.
I’m turning into my father.
I see the monster in the mirror, wearing my clothes.
Taunting me.
Laughing at me when I throw a vase against the wall.
Offering me another beer to fuel the rage. Then two more.
Inviting me to the dark side.
???
My staff do their best to sail the ship without me.
They follow detailed instructions via Beth.
Hiring Roz really was the best business decision I’ve ever made.
I dictate emails word by word, unable to pull it together enough for a phone call.
