Marco can see the pain in my eyes.
He kisses the thought away.
“You don’t have to save me. I'm strong enough to kick his ass if I wanted to. That’s one of the reasons I got myself a personal trainer. Dad’s super manipulative though. He gets off on the mind games. He'd find a way to sabotage an event or extort money somehow, being an addict and all.”
I release a breath.
My protective instincts redirect toward helping Marco heal.
“I imagine it would be triggering just to hear his voice or see his face again.”
“It would. Even the smell of cigarettes and beer makes my gut churn sometimes. Or sudden loud noises. You saw how I caved during that storm. I won't pretend it doesn't still affect me. I just... I can't…”
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have blurted that out.”
“No, it’s something we should talk about. No more secrets.”
“No more secrets.”
Marco folds the cuff of my sleeve.
“And the thing about Mum? I totally get it. I'd wanna know about her too if I were you. Because… you're right, I do think about her often. More than I used to. Even attempted to drive along the A2 last year. I had this crazy plan that I could hustle her into the car while he was down at the pub. Bring her back here to the lake, maybe? I don’t know. Only got as far as Charleville before I turned around.”
His voice holds an air of resignation, but I know it must have tortured him.
Returning to the city without her.
Again.
“What if I came with you?” I offer. “We could take a little road trip. You could show me where you grew up. We can go check on her. Maybe she’ll come back with us? I’m sure it would mean everything to you, knowing she’s safe.”
Marco turns away quickly.
But I see it.
A wistful emotion I can’t quite name.
Hope, perhaps?
Hope, woven together with trepidation.
“Have I pushed too far?”
“No,” Marco says firmly. “I mean, thank you for offering but... it's best if I just leave all that in the past.” He swallows slightly. “It’s complicated.”
The way he says it makes it clear that our conversation has reached a wall.
Not a rejection.
Just a boundary he’s not ready to cross yet.
So I won’t mention it again.
Not unless he does.
???
Snuggly blankets.
