And that kind of love is a catalyst for courage.
I take another peek at the stars in my planner.
Maybe it’s time.
Time to face the shadows that have shaped me.
Time to stop looking over my shoulder.
Time to lay the past to rest, so I can finally be at peace.
Amos has given me something rare and precious.
The feeling of being embraced exactly as I am.
I want to match that depth.
To heal the parts of myself that still carry fear.
To be the love-you-without-holding-back Marco that Amos deserves.
???
The boy who once walked away was brave.
Is he brave enough to go back?
The thought makes my stomach tighten.
My monster still looms over me.
Could I really walk through that door again?
Not as a child, but as a man.
Perhaps it’s time to reclaim what was stolen.
My confidence.
My innocence.
My relationship with mum.
I let the possibility ferment in my mind for a few days.
“Something on your mind, my love?” Amos asks. “You seem restless.”
“I'm just tired,” I reply.
Tired in more ways than one.
Tired of living on edge all the time.
Tired of spiralling during thunder storms.
Tired of blocking out the noise in my mind.
Tired of the nightmares that ambush my sleep.
