Page 335 of Ink Beneath Starlight

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Holding the first one in my lap, I still remember the day I posted it.

I’d only been in Brisbane a couple of weeks.

I was missing her so much.

Hadn’t written during those early months in Longreach.

Less chance of being tracked down in the city though.

More than one post office.

I marvel at my messy teenage handwriting.

But I avoid reading what it says.

My leaving note lays half folded between stacks two and three.

The one I wrote the morning I ran away.

I can’t handle looking at it, so I hand it to Amos.

“As much as I’ve missed you,” she says, her voice already trembling. “And I really have missed you so much... I wassoproud of you for what you did.”

The floor curves slightly beneath me.

Perhaps I’m just dizzy.

It’s all a bit overwhelming.

“You got free, Marco. Something I've never had the courage to do.”

She smiles through the pain.

I hold her hand in mine.

“Yes I cried for you, sweetheart. But my tears weren’t just sad.”

“No?”

“No. I was relieved that one of us had the chance to live a better life.”

I can’t find the words.

She cups my face the way she used to do when I was small.

“If you’d stayed here, you might have ended up a very different man.”

Her eyes shine with pride.

We both know it’s true.

“But look at you now, my beautiful boy.”

That’s when I break.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m sorry for leaving you here with him. I just couldn’t…”

“I know,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry too. Should have left him before I got pregnant.”