I realize I had just made a stupid decision. Clearly, if Rafe’s laughter is any indication, he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings, and I made a fool out of myself.
“I’m…I’m sorry,” I stammer. “I don’t know what came over me.”
I do know what came over me, though. I’ve always felt that my soul called to his, that we were two halves of a whole. At first, I had thought that was because we grew up together, like brothers, but later had to admit to myself that it was more. And even though my impulsive decision could have ruined our entire friendship, I couldn’t have prevented that kiss even if I had wanted to.
Rafe continues to laugh, and I debate whether I should save face and make a quick exit.
Right when I make the decision to leave, Rafe cups my face with both hands.
“It’s about time you kissed me.” And he presses his lips back to mine.
Chapter 15
Callum
The next several weeks continued in the same way. I had returned to my normal training schedule with the Hunters and had to leave Elia by herself in the library. Any opportunity I did manage to spend with Elia, I was never alone, always having Hanson and Ginna close by. I’m sure she thinks I’m avoiding her, and she’s not wrong.
The kiss with Elia was life-altering. Revolutionary. Cataclysmic.
It scared me.
Even though it had been five years since Rafe, I was immediately guilty the next day, like I had been cheating on him. That notion was ridiculous, since he left me, but I couldn’t help thinking the kiss was some betrayal of sorts. Every time I’m with Elia, she stirs up those same emotions I had felt all those years ago towards Rafe - like our souls are intertwined. I was struggling with the fact that I could have those same feelings towards another person.
Towards Elia.
She gives me hope. I know I could easily fall in love with her if I allow myself the chance, but it’s been hard to give myself the grace to do so.
Three weeks after the kiss, Ginna corners me after training one morning.
“Cal, what are you doing?” Her hands on her hips indicate that she means business.
“Right now? Trying to recover from the beat down you gave me.” I’m straddling a bench in our changing rooms, trying to even my breathing out.
“With Elia,” she expresses bluntly.
I suck in a breath. “It’s none of your –”
“Don’t give me that crap,” Ginna interrupts. “She likes you. You like her. We all saw that kiss happen. And now we all see you ignoring her.”
She takes a seat next to me on the bench, facing me. “If this is about Rafe…”
“Of course this is about Rafe,” I heave in exasperation, eyes trailing towards the ceiling. “He still plagues my every thought. Ilovedhim, Gin. I thought he was…it. The one.”
Ginna places a hand tentatively on my arm, as if I might crumble into pieces right then and there. “I know, Cal. No one is trying to take that away from you. But you’re treating him like he’s dead.”
I start to cut her off but she shakes her head. “No, let me finish. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but Rafe left you. He’s moved on, and you need to, too. You need to stop punishing yourself for him leaving.”
“You make it sound so easy,” I grumble.
“It won’t be. But loving Elia won’t take away from the love you had with Rafe. It’ll be a new kind of love. New memories without replacing the old ones.”
I hadn’t thought of it in that way. To me, loving Elia was erasing Rafe completely, pretending he never existed. Could I carry both loves with me, one past and one present?
I place my hand on top of Ginna’s. “I’m scared.” My voice cracks. “I could easily fall in love with her. But this has an end. What if she doesn’t want to stay after we find the Stone?”
Ginna shakes her head. “You’re thinking way into the future, Cal. A million things could happen between now and then. What do you want to do atthispoint in time?”
When the answer comes straightaway, I realize how foolish I’ve been the last couple of weeks. I want to banter with Elia, learn more about her. Make her laugh so I could see her smile light up her face. Kiss her again.
