“Aurelia was what my parents called me on the farm. Clover was the name I unfortunately earned at camp.” I pause, staring at the pattern on the blanket. “Elia was the name I was able to give myself. To start over.”A fresh start.That’s what Callum had told me, and at the time it seemed appropriate to have a new name to go along with that.
“Thank you for telling me, Elia.” I’m glad he understands that I don’t want to go by Aurelia, even now that I told him.
“Don’t let me regret it,” I answer back nervously.
Callum leans back to his original position and stares at the clear sky for a minute. I cross my legs, watching as the breeze rustles through the lavender, scattering the scent.
“Rafael.” He blurts out after several minutes. “He went by Rafe, but that’s the man I was hopelessly, desperately in love with.”
He steals a glimpse of me at the corner of his eyes, like he’s expecting a reaction out of me. He won’t get one. I already had the inclination from Hanson and Ginna that his ex was a man, and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I’d been around all different people and couples in the camps, so nothing is new to me. People are free to love whomever they choose.
I stare at him expectantly, giving him a silent encouragement to continue.
“I’m sure you’ve probably put it together, but Rafe is the Ashven Prince, King Corvin’s son. He grew up in the palace with Ginna and me. We’d been best friends since childhood. We did everything together.” Callum pauses. “I was maybe sixteen or seventeen when I started having feelings forhim. I probably had a crush on him well before then, but I was stubborn and in denial. We both had our first kisses with girls, and Rafe never gave the inclination that he would be into me, too.
“Then, one day we snuck out of a ball that was happening and slipped up to the west tower. We were both a little tipsy on wine, and one thing led to another, and we kissed that night. We were never the same since. We fell in love. He was my everything. And I thought I was his.”
I placed my hand over his on the blanket. I thought I would be a bit more jealous than I am – he spoke about Rafe so reverently it was obvious how strong his feelings were. But instead, I find the story beautiful, a love I could only hope to have one day, too.
“What happened?” I prod Callum gently, after he fell noticeably quiet. This was my biggest fear with love. Love can be so powerful between partners, family members, and friends. And yet it’s never guaranteed to be permanent. My familiar love was so shattered I still haven’t fully processed it. And Callum and Rafe, two people allegedly head over heels for each other, didn’t last. If I continued whatever thisthingwas between Callum and I, what hope could we possibly have?
Callum takes a deep breath before continuing. He threads his fingers through mine. “We weren’t always perfect. We had to keep our relationship quiet for a myriad of reasons. Only Hanson and Ginna knew. And Claudia. But servants talked and rumors spread. The King was furious. But we mainly ignored all the gossip and hate.” He shrugs. “‘Blinded by love’, Ginna used to joke. Then one day out of the blue, Rafe told me he had to leave – some emergency with his sister. Of course, I understood and didn’t stop him from leaving. But he swore he would return. For me. For us.” His fingers grip my hand tighter. “But he never did. That was five years ago.”
“What? Did something happen? Maybe he –”
“No. We didn’t fight. He wasn’t injured. Later he sent a letter to Ginna stating he wasn’t coming back. And that was that.” Callum swallows. “I guess he never felt as strongly for me as I did for him.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. You weren’t misinterpreting anything. Something probably came up…” I trail off, not sure why I’m defending Rafe. Five years without so much as a note to Callum is cruelty in its worst form. Five years of Callum wondering what went wrong. Blaming himself.
“I closed myself off when I found out he wasn’t returning. Ignored Hanson and Ginna and threw myself into hunting relics. I didn’t so much as look at anyone else.”
He tilts my chin up towards him. “And then you came along.”
My breath hitches.
“Meeting you felt like coming home to a warm fire after being out in the rainy cold. This ray of sunshine that shone through even the darkest of clouds.” His fingers trail down my neck, and I can’t help but shudder, wanting his fingers to dip lower.
Callum pulls away. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be completely whole again. Losing Rafe devastated me. And when we kissed the other night…I got in my head. I felt like I was somehow betraying him by kissing you.”
“Callum -”
“No, I’m sorry, Elia. The last thing I wanted was for you to think I regretted it. Kissing you was…breathtaking and all-consuming, and I’m sorry for how poorly I handled it. You have been the most unexpected surprise in my life. When I traveled to the desert to ask you for help, I never thought that I would have this immediate connection with you, something I hadn’t felt since Rafe. It scared me, it still does, but I want to explore this connection between us, if you would want to, too. You’d be easy to fall in love with, Elia.”
Hearing my chosen name tugs at my heart. “Yes,” I whisper, leaning in closer to him. “I’d like that a lot. And I don’t want you to assume I’d ever try and replace Rafe. Your love story is a part of you, and I would never want to erase that. But maybe we could start a story of our own.”
I don’t know who leans in first, but before I can process it, the gap between us is gone, and our lips press against each other’s. This is not the gentle, tentative first kiss we shared weeks ago – no, this is a raw, desperate kiss that takes all the air out of my lungs.
Callum’s tongue works its way into my mouth, and a deep moan escapes his lips that goes straight to my core. He’s trying to show his apology through his mouth, and it’s easy to forgive.
One hand plays with my hair, undoing my braid so that my hair falls loose down my back. I kiss him back in the same primal manner, hands fumbling with his shirt. I untuck it from his pants and slip my hand under, tracing the hard ridges of his chest, the light dusting of hair.
We break the kiss only to take in much needed air, and for Callum to throw his shirt off somewhere in the lavender field. Then all at once I’m on my back on the blanket, the ground hard beneath me. Callum balances himself over me, his arms framing my face. He traces the features of my face with one hand.
“You are so beautiful, Elia,” he murmurs, his fingers tantalizingly working their way down my chin…my neck…the top of my chest.
“Don’t be a tease, Callum,” I swallow, eyeing his fingers grazing the neckline of my dress, still too high for my liking.
He presses a hot kiss to the side of my neck, and I arch into him, lettingout a small gasp. He tugs my dress off one shoulder, then another, and yanks it down, baring my breasts to him. My nipples pebble in the cool air.
