I don’t answer, but I also don’t push him away. I sink into the pillows in surrender as Rafe cleans the sweat off my face, hoping he doesn’t hear how fast my heart is pounding with him being so close. Somehow Rafe always picks up the pieces after the King breaks me. I hate that he sees me in my most vulnerable state.
“How’s training going?” Rafe asks, crossing the room to bring over atray of food I hadn’t noticed.
“Well, I think. I’m hoping to be the King’s Lead Hunter in a few more years.” I make a noncommittal sound like it isn’t a big deal, trying to downplay how much being a Hunter means to me. The King’s Lead Hunter is a coveted position - being the King’s confidant as well as leading the rest of the Hunters. It would also allow me choose my Hunters - and Ginna would finally be able to join.
Rafe still trained with the rest of the recruits but I knew he was debating whether or not to quit. Rafe was more inclined towards history and art and would rather spend his time reading or painting. I knew he was happy not being a soldier, but it was also a contentious point with his family.
“Of course you’ll make it. You’re easily the best, and the King loves you.” There’s a hint of jealousy in the last part, and the pain in my feet becomes more prevalent.
I give him a small smile, focusing on the food in front of me. Meanwhile, I watch as Rafe tugs off the shirt he’s wearing and starts rifling through his closet. A spoonful of porridge is halfway to my lips when I freeze, staring at Rafe. I’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times before during training, but it’s different now, the air in the room becoming thinner. His bronze, muscular back has me mesmerized and I can’t seem to remember what I was doing.
Not hearing any response, Rafe turns around to me and catches me ogling him. I blush furiously, quickly hunching myself over the bowl and spooning porridge into my mouth.
Rafe remains quiet, but I notice that a huge grin has spread across his face. I’ve long since admitted my crush on Rafe to myself, and I find it harder to keep it a secret from him.
Once Rafe is satisfied that I’ve eaten, he takes a vial of laudanum out of a drawer and hands it to me.
“This should help with the pain. I need to take care of a couple things, but I’ll be back later to check on you.”
He uncorks the bottle as I open my mouth to protest. Rafe shoots me a look.
“Didn’t we agree that you’re the patient here?” Rafe quirks a brow at me. I grumble in response but allow him to pour the liquid into my mouth.
“There’s a good boy.” Rafe throws me a wink.
I immediately redden again.
“Thanks, Rafe.” My eyes are slowly becoming heavy as the drug kicks in. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” My words are beginning to slur.
“Luckily, you won’t ever have to. I’m always going to be by your side.” He squeezes my shoulder gently and leans in close. For a second, I think in my haze that he’s going to kiss me, but he pulls away instead.
I’m almost asleep when I hear Rafe open the door to leave. Before he steps outside, he whispers, “I know you’re lying to me, Cal. I only hope someday you trust me enough to want to tell me the truth.” The door closes with a thud, and I drift off into the abyss, dreaming of an angel with brown eyes and bronze skin.
Chapter 19
Elia
“You’re a lifesaver, Claudia.” Claudia beams as she continues to fold clothes to be added to my luggage.
We leave tomorrow for Sevrin, and I had spent most of yesterday trying to figure out what to pack with no success. When Claudia came into my room this morning, it only took one look around before she knew I was a disaster and needed help.
“Glad I could be of help, Miss Elia.” I had given up on trying to have her drop the ‘miss’ title.
“Have you traveled much yourself?” I was currently deciding between the books on my desk I’d taken from the library. My small purse was already crammed with the lavender I’d harvested and different empty vials – no more than one or two books would fit.
“I have a cousin in Guilmond that I’ve visited before, but I’ve never gone across the sea. I’m what you might call a homebody. Everything I need is right here in Ashven.” Claudia finishes with the clothes and bustles into the bathing chamber.
“Is your family here, then?” I call to her.
Claudia returns with my hairbrush and other bathing essentials. “Oh yes, most of us are right in town. I’ve been with my husband George for almost 40 years now. He’s a blacksmith in town. And our boy Jack is all grown and has a family of his own now, too.” Her face is lit up as she talks about her loved ones.
Claudia turns to me. “I didn’t ask about your family, Miss Elia.” It’s not a question, and I appreciate that she’s giving me leeway not to answer.
“It’s just me now. Parents left during the Golden Hunt and never came back.” I bite my lip, keeping my eyes lowered to the floor. “No siblings, no friends, no husband.” I try to laugh at the situation, but it comes out hollow.
Claudia comes and hugs me. It reminds me of my mother’s rare hugs, and I squeeze tighter, trying to stop the tears falling from my eyes.
“It must have been a very lonely life.” She whispers quietly, patting the back of my head gently.
