I exhale and lean both elbows on the railing, watching the waves crash into the side of the boat.
“I did. I do. I….” I groan in frustration, dropping my head in my hands. “I don’t know.”
Ginna places a hand in between my shoulder blades. “Well, you have time to figure that out before we return to Ashven. No one’s making you stay a Hunter.”
I make a noncommittal sound in response.
Because that’s where she’s wrong. I forged a path for myself so long ago, that I’ve become trapped in it. My future is planned for me, whether I like it or not.
Chapter 24
Elia
Ipace back and forth in Callum’s room, wearing a path into the intricate rug on his floor. I should have left his room hours ago after waking up from another nap. My arm is fine – barely a scratch as Callum had suggested – and there is nothing else physically wrong with me.
But the conversation I’d had with Callum is ringing in my head. I am having a hard time reconciling the version of Callum I had seen fighting those pirates with the Callum who had stroked my hair in bed, dark bags under his eyes when he thought he had lost me. Both are two very different people – one a ruthless villain, and the other a man I was sure I was falling in love with.
I’m also frustrated with my naivety in all this. He was training with Ginna and Hanson nearly everyday while I was in Ashven. What did I think he was training for? I knew he had all those muscles under his clothes.
My ears redden at my memory of him under the moonlight on the back of the ship and I quickly shake that thought away. I did not need to be reminiscing about that now. Callum clearly wasn’t training for the hell of it. Relics held ancient, powerful magic – of course bandits and thieves would follow in his path. He was a King’s Hunter. The head of the entire group. Of course he would have the skill to back his position. After all, he did save me and everyone on the ship.
But the coldness in his eyes while he was fighting –
That was what had shocked me.
That, and now the thoughts that plague me are of my family again. Was this the trouble my parents ran into? Did they find a relic during their search and pay for it with their lives? Did pirates attack them?
Not knowing was worse than knowing for sure they were dead. I’ve long accepted that they’re gone, but a small, small part of me still holds on to hope that they’re coming back for me. That we’ll be a family again. Closure of any answer would save me from the torments of the what if.
A knock on the door relieves me of my wandering thoughts.
“Come in,” I answer.
Callum stands at the doorway, dark bags still present under his eyes. He was on cleanup duty all day and it definitely took a toll on him. My guilt creeps in at the fact that I spent the majority of the afternoon and early evening in bed.
“You don’t have to knock,” I laugh. “This is your room.”
He paces across the floor. “I wasn’t sure if you were sleeping or not.”
“I’m pretty sure I’ve slept enough for the whole crew combined.”
He smiles. “Good. I’m glad.” The corners of his mouth drop a little. “How are you doing…with everything?”
“I’m fine, honestly. Just a scratch, like you thought.”
Callum stares at me blankly, knowing that wasn’t what he was most concerned about.
I sigh. “Callum, I promise I’m okay. I’m sorry for the way I reacted and –”
He cuts me off. “Please don’t apologize for that. If anything, you underreacted.” He mutters the last part under his breath, so low that I barely hear it.
He has his hands clasped behind his back so that I can’t see them. But I’m sure they’re tightly clasped, preventing them from shaking and fidgeting.
My reaction affected him greatly, more so than I would have thought, and I can’t help but wonder why. I must not have been the first person who’s discovered his brutality. Did Rafe see that same side to him? Is there more to the story of Rafe leaving than Callum’s been telling me? What else don’t I know?
I shake my head. I have to be the strong one here for Callum. This whole trip he’s been making it clear that he’s all in for me; 100% dedicated and committed.
And I haven’t made the same clear to him.
