“No, you wouldn’t have. Your loyalty was first and foremost to the King. Still is. And that’s why I didn’t come back.”
“You could have at least told me you weren’t returning to Ashven. I spent months,years,watching the docks, hoping I’d see your ship in the distance. I’d have given anything to hear from you. Then when I found out you’d written to Ginna instead of me…” I trail off, trying not to prevent tears from falling. “You broke me, Rafe.”
“You broke us first.”
Rafe’s eyes glisten in the firelight, and it is the first time all day I see the Rafe I’d fallen in love with.
Approaching footsteps on the creaky porch and feminine voices cause Rafe and I to straighten up, subtly wiping our faces of any emotions we had shown in the last few minutes.
Ginna is the first to appear in the doorway, having to push the door several times before it opens. Elia’s face appears next, and I’ve never been so thankful to see her.
“Are we interrupting anything?” Ginna asks, glancing between Rafe and myself.
“Nope. Just reminiscing,” Rafe mocks dryly. He unscrews the flask and takes another sip.
Elia comes to stand in front of me and kisses my cheek. “Everything okay?”
I tug at a piece of her hair that has fallen in front of her face. “It is now. Horses all settled?”
She nods, but her eyes linger on my face, which is probably still red and blotchy. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I need to get some air for a minute.”
I manage to escape the cabin, not wanting to stay another second for any questioning by Ginna or Elia. Instead, I decide to walk to the barn, figuring it’s close enough that I wouldn’t get lost and yet far enough away that I’d have space from everyone inside.
I mull over the conversation with Rafe in my head, trying to processwhat I had managed to learn.
Yes, the King had told me he was going to name me his heir in lieu of Rafe’s departure. I’d only found out, though, maybe a year or so ago, when the King’s health had taken a turn for the worse. He told me he was afraid he didn’t have much time left and didn’t want Ashven to go without an heir if he died. Rafe wasn’t coming back, or so it had seemed, and to him, I was his next logical choice. People knew I was connected to the King in some way, being his Lead Hunter, so all he’d have to do was formally claim me and I’d be the heir.
But Rafe had made it sound like it was all a scheme. Like I’d planned years and years in advance to be named heir, and that wasn’t true. I’d only ever wanted to be a soldier and a Hunter. The crown never once crossed my mind, especially for a bastard like me.
It was another reason why I was so desperate to find the Stone. If the King recovered, I wouldn’t have to worry about the whole heir ordeal. I had hoped to find the Stone, convince the King to take another wife and have another son that was actually his. Or, if that didn’t work, convince him to find Rafe and bring him home.
All I knew was that I was not the right person to lead Ashven. I could barely hold myself together at times, nevermind the entire kingdom.
What Rafe had expressed about honestly did hit true, though, and I wondered if I should have told him the truth all those years ago. What would have happened if I told Rafe that his father was the one causing all the injuries he saw? That his father had kept me in line with the threat of hurting his own son.
I didn’t want Rafe to have to choose between me and his father. I didn’t want him to know what kind of person the King was behind closed doors. It was a burden I had already carried, and didn’t want Rafe - kind, carefree, lighthearted Rafe - to have that weight on him, too.
I thought I was doing the right thing.
“Callum, wait up!” Elia comes sprinting to me.
“Elia, it’s cold outside, go back to the cabin.”
It isn’t that cold outside in actuality. The spring night air feels refreshing, the cold nip rejuvenating both my senses and emotions.
“I wanted…to make sure you…were okay,” she pants, catching her breath.
“I’m fine.”
“If you’re fine you won’t mind my company, then.” She loops a hand around my elbow, staring up at me, challenging me to contradict her.
I pat the top of her hand in surrender. “I never mind your company.”
We walk together silently, and I appreciate that she isn’t prying into my conversation with Rafe. She respects my space, and I again am overwhelmed with how much I care for her. Despite my initial pushback, her presence is comforting, and by the time we reach the barn, my head isn’t as heavy as it was.
“Come on, I saw a ladder to a loft when we were in here.” Elia drags me to the back of the barn, passing the horses munching on hay.
