For today’s travels, Rafe and Ginna ride side by side, and from what snippets I pick up when the breeze carries their words to me, they are catching up on lost time. I heard Ginna mention some of our more recent Hunts and about how Hanson was doing. If this trip ended up being a waste for me, I’d at least be glad if Ginna and Rafe had the opportunity to rekindle their friendship.
When Rafe and Ginna are a far enough distance away where our words won’t carry, I decide to brave discussing last night with Elia.
“Are we going to talk about what happened last night at all?” I ask Elia, keeping my mouth close to her ear.
“What happened last night? Aside from a good time?” She flutters her eyelashes up at me innocently, twisting slightly on the horse so she can face me.
“I know that you know that Rafe was watching us.”
“Was he?” She tries hard to maintain an even tone, but the smug expression on her face betrays her.
“Yes,” I reply evenly. “Which is why you conveniently positioned us like that.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Well, that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Are you mad that I did that, Callum?” Her face drops slightly.
“No. Yes. I mean –” A sound of frustration escapes my lips. “I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry. I was hoping it would be a way to break down the wall between you guys quickly. You know, to show that you both still obviously have feelings for each other. Still share some connection.” She leans back into my chest and shrugs slightly. “Plus I thought it was hot.”
My mouth had opened to respond to the first part of her words, thinking she was done, but snapped shut immediately when she finished. My pants are instantly tighter where I’m pressing against Elia.
“You thought…” I can’t even admit the sentence aloud.
“It was hot. Yes. I mean, you’re gorgeous, Callum. And you’re not blind so you know Rafe is too. Having him watch us was for my pleasure as much as yours.”
I hadn’t considered that. I thought Elia positioned us that way for me, to prove a point. No where in my mind did I envision that Elia wasturned onby Rafe.
Fantasies erupt in my head, ones that involve me, Elia, and Rafe, where Rafe is doing more than watching. No - instead, he is an active participant.
“You still have some progress to make and are in denial right now, but for arguments sake, I want you two to reconcile.”
My head is spinning. “I - I don’t - I don’t know what I want to do with Rafe,” I manage to spit out.
“I know, it’s going to take some time for both of you to talk and figure all this out. I want you to do whatever you need to do to fix whatever broke between you two.”
“I’m happy with only you, Elia. I don’t need more than that.” I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.
“I know. But I also know that a piece of you is still missing, with orwithout me. And that piece is riding in full leather that sticks to his body very well, if I may add.”
I laugh. A full, belly laugh that never ends. Tears stream down my eyes at the absurdity of this situation.
My girlfriend admiring my - well, not my boyfriend anymore. Friend? That also doesn’t fit right now. My past? My history?
Elia’s right. When we reach his house we need to clear the air.
Not tonight though, and when we make camp in another similar abandoned cabin, Elia and I sneak off to the woods for some privacy. When I brace Elia against a tree, pants around both our ankles, I find myself consciously listening for another set of footsteps. When I hear them, I wonder for a second if I willed them into existence. But no, when I am about to reach my climax, Elia already on her second, I hastily search the dark and again am met with those chocolate eyes that have haunted me for the last five years.
When I finish, Elia beams up at me encouragingly, and it’s then that I all at once come to the understanding that Elia had reached so long ago - that I am still hopelessly and desperately in love with Rafe.
And Elia.
???
Whoever said that the journey is better than the destination clearly hasn’t been on our trip. By the time we reach Rafe’s house at midafternoon the following day, we’re all thankful, especially me. The actual journey itself didn’t seem all that real to me yet, as I’m still struggling to wrap my head around the conversation I’d had with Elia yesterday.
