“Um, yeah. I mean, I’d messaged her about whether things went okay with Linyue, and that was what she said.” I felt myself flushing nervously, not sure what the deal was with the interrogation.
“Uh-huh.”
“What?”
“Youaremarried, right?”
“I’m not—” I put my hands up, bumping the table and nearly spilling my drink. “I’m not hitting on Helena. Jesus.”
She gave me a skeptical look. “Let me see your text exchange with her.”
“Th-that’s private.” My face was molten-hot now. Shit, anyone could tell I had a crush on Helena at this rate.
“You didn’t answer the question. You were super weird about your husband on Friday.”
“I was just… nervous to be attending the place by myself.” I scratched my wrist, which was suddenly impossibly itchy. “Nothing weird there. Just a normal… husband.” I cringed.
She tented her fingers on the table. “So, what I’m getting from this is that you and your husband are separated, or maybe just in a really complicated situation with your relationship on thin ice, and you’re exploring your attraction to women.”
“I’m not, um…” I scratched my head. I was not pulling off a lie that I wasn’t interested in Helena. I was already maintaining a truckload of lies, but Houdini himself couldn’t have pulled off that trick. I sighed, slumping against the table. “If you’re asking if I’m attracted to Helena, yes, of course I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m trying todoanything about it.”
She narrowed her eyes, slowly digesting it, before she seemed satisfied, sitting up taller and kicking one leg up over the other. “I get it, she’s hot,” she said. “I even made out with her once.”
“Uh. You did?”
“Yeah, I was curious if I was gay, so I asked. I wasn’t. Turns out. I mean, if I’m not intoher,I’m not into any women.”
“Uh, a, uh…” That made it sound like Helenawasgay. I wasn’t surviving the night. “A lot of women try that with her?”
She laughed. “You wouldnotbe the first to explore your feelings about girls with her. Or the last. That’s what happenswhen you’re hot, openly bisexual, and a little flirty in a very straight industry.”
Oh, god. Maybe I’d just throw myself off the terrace. One day I’d get to a luxurious high-rise view without being two steps from throwing myself off it. I fussed with the straw in my drink just to have something to do with my hands. “I can… see that. But for the record, I’m not, uh, looking to explore. I mean, I already know very well how I feel about girls. No confirmation needed. So I’m not just looking to use Helena to experiment. Or anything else.”
“Still not gonna let me see your text exchange, though, huh?”
“I-I said it’s private.”
“But you weren’t flirting?”
If Helena was bisexual and Estelle hadn’t been kidding that she liked to flirt, then I guess there was an obvious explanation for why her messages felt flirty. The only problem was that that explanation wasHelena was flirting with me,which wasn’t much of an explanation at all, now, was it? “We weren’t flirting,” I said, after way too long a pause. She squinted at me, and I flushed. “Okay, it did feel a little flirty! But I was just… matching the cadence of how she spoke. It doesn’t mean I’m trying to do anything with her!”
“Uh-huh.” She gave me a once-over. “You’re cute, and I could see Helena going for someone with your energy, but I need to know for sure that, if I do get your help with Helena, you’re not going to get her involved in an affair. She’s dealt with that kind of thing before and it was not pretty for her, and she does not have the space for that right now.”
“Has she?”
“Mm.” She softened. “It was a whole thing. This girl she was working on a big project with, she had a boyfriend but told Helena the wholeoh, he won’t mind if it’s with another girlthing, allI’ve always wanted to try it, show me what it’s like.Then she did a full one-eighty after the fact, accused Helena of pressuring her into it, threatened to make a big scandal out of it, and this bitch held it as blackmail over her for, like, almost a full year. She dropped it after her boyfriend dumped her, so I’m assuming it turned out the boyfriend actually did mind it if it was with another girl, and she decided to get out of trouble with him by saying Helena made her do it. Either way, it was awful. Helena spent so long after that happened being so careful to even be seen being friends with anyone.”
“Ew. That sucks.” I swirled my drink slowly, ice cubes clinking. “I kinda get that. This one girl in college kissed me and then very obviously regretted it because she was kinda popular and I was kinda a loser, and so she got all her friends to hate me, so then I stopped dating for a while. I mean, that’s not really comparable and you also didn’t ask.”
She laughed. “You’ve got bad luck with relationships, huh?”
“Ah, yeah. You could say that again.”
“All right,” she said, relaxing, leaning sidelong into the railing with her drink in hand. “I’ll trust you. But don’t let me down, okay? Even if Helena does flirt with you, I am counting on you to be the more mature party and turn her down.”
Turn down Helena fucking Warrick? Sure, yeah, I could do that. I could also fly and shoot lasers from my eyes. Casual. “I will,” I lied. “I’ll be good. I’m not about to implicate anyone. So, what’s the deal with Helena?”
Her face fell. “Ever since everything on Saturday, Helena’s been in a rough spot. She’s really overworking herself, and she’s given up on everything she actually wants to do and is just locked in on doing as Linyue says. She’s been like a drone. I’m worried about her.”
