“What say do you think you get?”
Cassandra withered. I was really not supposed to be doing this. And not supposed to be enjoying it as much as I was.
Chapter 12
Julie
“What do you think you’redoing?” I said, sounding approximately as insane as I felt, the instant Helena was out of the room, and Krysten laughed.
“How long do you intend to live a life of lies, my dear?”
“I wasn’t intending to do any of this. I wasintendingto wash my hands of this and step away after having done a good deed for my friends!”
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and you are driving dangerously fast down it.” She leaned back in her chair, holding her coffee up with one hand, gesturing as she did, somehow not spilling the coffee even though she came infinitesimally close over and over. She seemed to always do that, and it gave me even more anxiety than my baseline level lately. “You should tell her the truth.”
“Tell her what, that I’m a sad loser who lives in a laundry closet with no job and no hopes and that I’ve been lying to her this whole time? She won’t…”Won’t talk to me anymore.Was that what it came down to? Really? I’d asked myself before why I didn’t just come clean, but I knew it would be disastrous if I justtold her. But disastrous how? Sure, she could talk about me, ruin my reputation, but… what fucking reputation was there to ruin? Was I really just desperate for her to keep talking to me?
I wondered what choice I’d made in life that led me to every other wrong choice it was possible for a person to make. Then I remembered that obviously it was calling Kingmaker, and at least I felt better for having a specific person to be pissed off at.
“Well, then I suppose it is up to you!” Krysten said, her hands up. “I will not tell you how you may live your one precious life. I look forward to hearing how you maintain your secret identity.”
“Did you literally do this just to put me on the spot?”
She laughed. “You must think me quite clever to have come up with a scheme like that! And you would be right. Yes, my dear, that is precisely what happened.”
“I swear to—” I clasped my hands together, making a long, frustrated noise. This was Estelle’s fault. I should have just accepted that Helena didn’t want to talk to me anymore, and then I’d go and contribute for Jewel, and the whole thing would have faded away. I’d thought for a second I’d had it figured out, that maybe I was doing okay after all, once I got the studio under Kingmaker’s office to sign on, but I’d taken one step forward and two steps back now.
But it wasn’t like I had a choice. June’s rent wasn’t going to pay itself, and neither was Daniel’s bill. I slurped my coffee moodily, setting it down with a frustrated sigh.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll make it work. It’s… I’ll figure it out. What do you want me to do, anyway? Keep banging on doors?”
“And make a fool of yourself? No, no. I have gained just slightly enough respect for you to not leave you to embarrass yourself publicly.”
“What—you had a different strategy in mind this whole time and you just wanted to embarrass me?”
She didn’t answer. “We have one studio that has signed up with us now, and we will use that to get the others to pay attention. The fear of missing out is a powerful tool. We will make everyone think that all the best things in the industry are happening with Jewel, and then they will be scrambling to catch up. In this city, everybody always feels like they are one step from falling behind. They will be desperate to sign on.”
Oh, preying on the desperate. Now this was putting Kingmaker’s teachings to use. “Okay… so how do we do that?”
“I have discussed this with Liv, because she is as vain as she is pretty, and she cares for nothing beyond the optics, which makes her perfect for this. We will have an event. You are no longer trying to sell industry professionals on the app, but inviting them to this event. You will need to leverage your industry connections to cast a wide net.”
“Krysten, I don’t have industry connections.”
“Well, then it is a good thing you have a smart woman who specializes in connections!” She leaned forward, setting down her coffee and folding her arms on the table. “Just do take care you do not get too distracted by a pretty face.”
“I-I’m not… um…” I shuffled in my seat. “Is it that obvious?”
“This one thinks I am deaf, blind and dumb. It is obvious that she is also quite fond of you.”
“Oh, god, Krysten. She thinks I’m married. And her friend told me under no circumstances am I to do anything with her.”
“Then why do you not tell the truth? Your head is a birdcage whose bird does not sing.”
“Because.” I hugged myself.Because I’m not good enough for herwas not something I was saying out loud at a table with other people. “Because reasons.”
“Because reasons, she says. This one will be the end of me, I swear it.”
I was going to be the end of myself, too, at this rate. I really needed to change course, and fast.
