“I just think you care enough about her that you don’t want to cut this connection off altogether because of this. I mean, from the sounds of things, she never really wanted to lie about anything, it was just bad luck and not knowing when to cut her losses.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Stellie, please. I can’t do this right now.”
She sighed. “I get that. I am sorry it happened this way.”
“Even if I were incandescent with rage and hated her to the core of my being, it would still be awful what happened to her,” I said quietly. “I just… hope she’ll be all right, whatever happens now.”
“She seems like a smart woman. I’m sure she’ll make the most of what you gave her.” She sipped her wine, thinking carefully, before she spoke. “So you don’t hate her for it?”
I shook my head. “It would be a lot easier if I did.”
“Mm.” She smiled softly, putting her hand on mine. “Tonight, we’re just going to have a good time, and all of those problems are for our future selves to solve.”
“Yeah.” I smiled weakly at her. “Thanks. For this. I really appreciate it.”
“I was bored anyway. Let’s see who else we can invite. Someone’s gotta be free in the neighborhood.”
“From your contacts list? Probably about seventy people. I don’t think there’s room in here.”
“Well, first come first served. Let’s see who wins the Estelle Fong Olympics.”
We didn’t get seventy people, but Estelle did have a hell of a lot of friends, and it wasn’t long before we were joined by three other girls we’d both worked with before, and thankfully, I got to lose myself in a night of conversation and laughter and dancing, all over nothing at all, just for the sake of doing it. We went out before long and found another place, and then another,and then another, late into the night, until one of the girls peeled off to go make out with someone at the club, and then we sort of dissolved, each branching off until it was just me and Estelle on the way back to my apartment at night, and she gave me a hug in the doorway.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.
“I don’t need babysitting.”
She stuck her tongue out. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Why do I attract all the stubborn people into my life?” I said, but there was no use. I guess I’d see her tomorrow.
It was only once I was lying in bed that I realized how much I needed that, drifting in the empty feeling. I didn’t want to go be some ridiculous startup influencer or whatever. And I didn’t want to do modeling. I didn’t want to go to fancy events and party with people carefully selected by Linyue, and I didn’t want to have meetings, endless meetings. I didn’t want to see Julie again, and I didn’t want her to go.
I didn’t want anything. Just to sleep. So eventually, I managed to sleep, just a little bit.
Chapter 22
Julie
Mom picked up the phone. “Julie?” she said. “What’s going on?”
“Hey, Mom,” I said, sitting far back in the armchair in my hotel room, looking up at where the AC was rattling with its air-conditioner smell filling the room. “It’s just about my move back, uh—”
“Did some New Yorker man dump you again?”
“Oh my god. It was a woman. I’m gay.”
“Oh, whatever it is. I don’t care what you are. I just can’t understand why. Don’t you want to have kids?”
Oh, god, this conversation was going to be every minute of my new life in just a day or two, probably. I was going to throw up. “Listen, I’ve had some things happen here, and…”
“I’m sure you have. There’s always something awful happening there. You know, I heard about a stabbing that happened there. I was worried sick it might have been you.”
Well, so worried she forgot to even ask me if I was okay. Or check the news report she was looking at to see if the one victim in a city of eight million people was me. “Well, luckily I was notstabbed,” I said. “But I did have some things happen with my apartment here, and—”
“And the apartment prices, it’s ridiculous. Don’t you want to come back to Benley? It’s nice here, plenty of nature, much cheaper, easier to drive in.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, taking a breath. “You know, actually, I wouldloveto. In fact, I was thinking…” I trailed off when my phone buzzed in my hand, and I looked at where I had another call coming in. Which was normal, I had a lot of people I expected to come yelling at me around now, but what was not normal was that it was Estelle’s name on the caller ID.
