Perhaps always?
Perhaps.
He was so often untested. The last time, before Circe’s death, before Birdie had stormed into his life, was when Andrei had gotten Emerald pregnant and stolen her from her wedding.
He had felt out of control then, and he hadn’t liked it. It was a reminder of how random life could be. When even your best friend could do something completely out of character. Or at least, out of character based on what Onyx had known of him. It was even more sobering to realize that he had never fully understood Andrei, or Emerald, and the nature of their relationship.
It had never occurred to him that while he was guarding Emerald, the two of them were pining. Desperately.
But they had been.
He didn’t like being confronted by his own blind spots.
This wasn’t the same. Except, it felt related. The way that he hadn’t seen the maid until she had been in a tight dress, touching him. The way he hadn’t understood her strength, even as he was accusing her of all manner of subterfuge.
And this, now. The way he had been manipulated into inviting her to dinner. That was what had to have happened. She had somehow suggested the notion. That they sit and eat together, get to know one another. Because he was the father of her child.
That realization made his stomach go tight. Yes. He was the father of her child. He…
He was the father of the child.
The DNA test proved that.
She’d said that she was a virgin when they were together. That she’d wanted to comfort him.
Jesus. It made him feel so appalled at himself. Perhaps that was his real problem. When he looked at her, he felt nothing but anger at himself.
For being a man who was vulnerable to those kinds of very human mistakes.
He wondered, not for the first time, what his father would’ve thought of any of this.
He couldn’t ask him. His mother and father had married for the good of the country, and he had wanted badly to do the same. It was why Emerald had decided to enter into a convenient marriage as well.
This wasn’t any different than his first marriage. No, it wasn’t political in the way his marriage to Circe had been but they were having a child, and when you were royalty, there was very little that was more political than a child.
He grimaced, even as he had that thought.
But it was different to be the heir.
It was. You had to be prepared for this life.
His parents had been very warm people. Loving. But when his father had given him lessons, he had been hard and uncompromising. Had told him that it was the way the ruler of a nation had to be.
And Onyx had always been able to see the difference. That at the end of the day, a king had to be able to be the symbol before he was anything else. That he had to be able to put duty before everything.
There was no duty here, and he disliked it.
He went downstairs, and began to rummage through the fridge. There were pre-prepared boards of meat and cheese, and packaged meals with instructions on them. He tried to decide what he thought the little maid would like.
He had never really watched her enjoy a meal. Didn’t really know what she would enjoy.
He decided on two very nicely prepared steaks with instructions for reheating so as not to overcook them, and buttered potatoes.
It was an elegant meal, particularly along with the cheese board. Although, his bride could not have wine, so he was obliged to get them both sparkling pear juice from a bottle in the cupboard.
He set the table for them on the terrace that was shrouded by trees, shielded from the sun.
And when he went in the house to fetch her for dinner, she was already partway down the stairs. When he saw her, his heart jumped. She was wearing an orange dress that clung to her curves. He had never seen her dressed quite like this before.
