The tears I hadn’t shed for three months, but which had been scouring my eyeballs all this time, welled up and spilled over my lids.
Evie gripped my shoulders and gave them a soft shake. ‘Don’t cry, Mia. And don’t panic. Until we know. Then we can figure out what to do.’
I nodded like a scared child… When exactly had my reckless baby sister become the responsible adult in this family?
We trooped up to the bathroom together. And I peed on the stick.
Five minutes later, the bottom fell out of my world once and for all… But what replaced it wasn’t numbness anymore. It was fierce, abiding love. And determination.
Because if I was going to have a mafia boss’s baby, I was going to have to protect it.
I stroked my stomach, aware for the first time of the bloated feeling there. Why hadn’t I noticed that either? It was pathetic.
‘Will you tell him?’ Evie whispered, her eyes wet, too.
I swiped the tears off my cheeks. ‘I can’t tell him, Evie.’
‘Why? Because you’re scared of him, of what he’ll do…’
I shook my head. Even though I probably ought to be scared of Vito, I wasn’t. Not about this.
‘No, because I witnessed how dangerous his life is, and I don’t want that for me or my child. He said he wanted me gone, so I’m going to give him what he wants.’ Ridiculous to think it was that demand which had been the hardest to process, even after I’d finally figured out who—and what—Vito was.
Evie gripped my fingers. ‘You’re definitely going to have it, then?’
I nodded, knowing I didn’t have a choice. I already loved the life growing inside me…because the fact of its existence had given me back my self. The fog I’d been living in since that night had cleared. That hideous sense of being outside myself. Even the guilt and recriminations which had haunted me—for being stupid enough not to question anything about that night until it was too late.
Vito could have told me who he was, but why hadn’t I asked? Even his dominant, entitled behaviour which I’d found so hot, I could now see was a byproduct of who he was. A man who lived outside the law, who didn’t abide by society’s rules.
If anything, the wealth and power and danger surrounding Vito had intensified the adrenaline rush which had made every aspect of that night so exhilarating.
But I wasn’t that clueless thrill-seeker anymore, looking to have one wild night. I would be a mother in six short months—and that gave me a purpose again. I’d once thrived on being responsible and pragmatic, on being a rule-follower. That would be my superpower now.
The strange pang in my chest I recognised from that night only plunged deeper into my chest as I realised I would never be able to see Vito again. I ignored it. Because this was my reality now. And if I was going to have a mob boss’s baby, my priority had to be keeping it safe—from its father most of all.
Chapter Seven
Mia
Two months later
As I walkedthrough the park after my first full week back at work following the long summer break, I noticed the toddlers jumping about in the water play area. Even in September, the weather was warm and sticky. The familiar wave of emotion hit me as I imagined the little boy who would be playing there too in a couple of years’ time—because the sonographer had been fairly sure she’d spotted a penis during my latest scan.
I scrubbed the tears off my cheek. ‘For God’s sake,’ I whispered.
When exactly were my emotions going to settle down? I’d never had morning sickness, but I’d had pretty much every other pregnancy symptom. Mood swings which gave me whiplash. Exhaustion which struck as soon as I got home. My boobs were officially the size of watermelons on steroids. And then there were the erotic dreams which woke me up at night, wet and swollen and so horny I had to masturbate the edge off before I could get back to sleep.
Of course, the star player in every one of those dreams had been Vito.
‘I like imagining this body pregnant with my child… It is making me want you more.’
The words he’d said to me that night as he stroked my belly whispered across my consciousness again. I silenced the voice in my head. The torrid memories of our one night together would not help to contain the pheromone-mageddon my pregnancy had already caused.
I watched the kids while they played, instinctively cradling the compact bump where my pregnancy was starting to show. I’d bought my first pair of maternity jeans online last week—and wept all over them when they’d arrived. Because hormones.Sheesh.
Shouldering my bag, I carried on walking, my work shoes hurting. Being a teaching assistant meant being on my feet pretty much all day. At least today was a Friday. I could sleep all weekend if I wanted to.
Yippee.
