I kept pounding until the climax overwhelmed me, too. But as I rolled off her, drenched in sweat, all I could hear was my thundering heart, and all I could feel was the hollow, empty ache in my gut expanding.
Because the weakness for her, the need for something more and the fear of what that need could cost me, was still there.
Instead of holding her the way I usually would, I dragged myself from the bed. She sat up, clasping the sheet to her nakedness with shaking fingers, but I didn’t look at her as I found my pants and put them back on.
‘I must return to Isla Donna,’ I said, keeping my voice flat, my tone cold, determined to destroy the fear still churning in my gut. ‘I will have my men escort you back later today.’
I ground the words out to diminish her, to make her realise she would never have more from me than this.
‘Please, Vito, this isn’t who you are…’ she began, forcing me to look at her.
I leaned down and grasped her chin.
‘This is exactly who I am. You think because I like to fuck you…’ I let my gaze roam to her belly ‘…because you will have my child, that I will let you weaken me? I won’t. Tonight, once Dante is dead, once I havekilledhim…’ I reiterated, lifting her chin, forcing myself to ignore the tearing sensation in my chest as tears leaked out of her eyes and she shuddered under my touch, ‘I will expect you to be in my bed, waiting for me. And we both know you will not deny me.’
But when I released my hold on her, instead of cowering as I had hoped, instead of looking broken or beaten, she stared at me, that damn compassion still shining in her eyes and annihilating me.
‘I fell in love with you, Vito, knowing how ruthless you can be, and how violent,’ she said. ‘I’m not that clueless girl you got pregnant six months ago. I had to be strong and smart and pragmatic to survive my childhood, just like you did. And I accepted that loving you meant accepting the darkness in you. But I’ve also seen the light now too. The way you hold me so you can sleep. The way you caress my stomach because of the connection you feel to our child. The way you are so determined to protect me, no matter what it costs.’ She lifted her head, her expression brave and bold and unbowed. ‘And for that reason, I’ll still love you even if you kill him. But only if you do it because you believe you must to protect our baby.’ She bit into her lip to control the quiver of emotion which was already crucifying me, the jagged boulder growing in my throat. ‘But what I won’t do is let you bully me, or watch you destroy what’s left of your soul, just because you’re too scared to admit you have feelings for me, too.’
‘What the fuck are you even talking about now?’ I yelled as panic consumed me.
The shout echoed around the bedroom, my insides churning with the fear I wanted so desperately to deny. That she was right about me, and I wrong. That Icouldlove her, that I already did.
She didn’t even flinch, crucifying me even more. ‘I think you know…’ she said with a bravery that destroyed me.
I turned and walked away, storming through the house. I got dressed, threw a few things into a bag, then headed down the stairs into the courtyard where my men were waiting. But as I climbed into the car which would take me to the airport, the storm of emotions she had caused still raged inside me—not just fear and fury and panic now, but by far the most terrifying emotion of all…hope.
Mia
I was still shaking, still struggling to control my tears when Lorenzo arrived at the Milan house a few hours later, sent to escort me back to Isla Donna.
I kept my spine ramrod straight, feeling sick to my stomach when the bags and boxes of our shopping spree the day before were loaded into the car which had arrived to take me to the airport.
Had it really only been yesterday that everything had seemed so possible, so light between Vito and me? His lavish generosity during the day-long shopping spree, his smiles every time I tried to save him money—which only seemed to make him insist on spending even more—his enthusiasm as he showed me the city, his attention to my needs and the fact he’d upheld his part of our bargain to let me off the island even though I knew he was still concerned about my safety, had made me feel cherished and precious to him and seen…
When he’d woken me just before dawn, his callused hands stroking my stomach, I’d turned over, eager to make love to him again, to confirm what I already knew.
I’d seen so much of who Vito was since he’d brought me to Isla Donna. Not just the darkness inside him, but also the light which I was pretty sure he had never intended for me to see, but which he also hadn’t been able to hide. And it had given me hope for so much more, not just yesterday, but even before that.
Hewasruthless, and I knew he wouldn’t hesitate to kill when he considered it necessary…and I’d had to accept that about him.
But each time he touched me with such tenderness, each time he held me securely, each time I saw his eyes glaze with awe when he caressed my bump or heat with approval when I challenged him or burn with passion when he thrust heavily inside me, I saw that other man. The man he was to me. So protective, so possessive, but also vulnerable in ways I suspected he hadn’t been since he was a little boy, beaten by the man I now knew he had eventually killed.
And over the past weeks, I’d fallen hopelessly in love with both those men.
But when the helicopter finally arrived back at the villa on Isla Donna, I had been told Vito was locked in his study and had no wish to see me until later tonight.
Dismissed, I rushed to the bedroom, locked the bathroom door and let the tears come, unable to hold back the well of fear any longer, the tearing pain caused by our argument… I stuffed a fist into my mouth because I didn’t want anyone to hear the wracking sobs.
Until this morning, I’d convinced myself he had struggled not because hecouldn’tlove me, but because he was terrified to be that vulnerable. I knew he saw love as a weakness, and it would be a major battle to prove to him it could also be a strength.
But as I’d sat alone in the Milan house and on the journey back to Isla Donna, I’d had far too much time to examine and dissect every part of our argument, and the way he’d treated me, and all the awful things he’d said to me in that scathing tone… And it had made me wonder if I’d been a naive fool to ever hope for more from him.
What if this was a struggle neither of us could win? What if he could never allow himself to love me too? I’d accepted that it would take time to break down all the barriers he’d had to erect since his childhood to keep himself and the people who relied on him safe. But what if I’d sold my soul to the devil, and he really didn’t want more from me than someone to warm his bed and give birth to his son?
I’d seen the fury in Vito’s eyes when I’d mentioned Dante’s name, seen the anxiety and the conflicting emotions battering him when I’d woken up and watched him speaking to Lorenzo that morning.
I knew from the older women I’d befriended on the island that Vito and Dante had been close as children for a year before his father had kicked the boy and his mother out of the compound. But I hadn’t known they were also brothers.
