She realized then, that while she didn’t wish to go with him forever, that while she didn’t wish to rely on him, she might need to use him as a getaway car. She was hardly going to break past him and his head of security. That was a bit ambitious, even for her. Even for the maternal surge of determination and protectiveness that had risen up in her breast.
“All right. I will go with you. But whether or not I stay with you is another matter.”
His dark eyes flashed with rage. “I don’t think you understand what’s happening here. I am the king. You are in no position to make demands. You are—”
“I know,” she said. “I’m a servant. I mean nothing to you. I am little more than an inconvenience to be dealt with to you. But to me, I am a woman. Entirely. With my own hopes and my own dreams, with my own goals.”
Conviction built within her breast as she spoke, as she found it in her to not only say the words, but to believe them. As she found her own strength, not in promises she made to her father, not in the feelings she’d been carrying for Onyx, but in her own spine of steel, her own desires.
“And nothing, not my stepmother, and not a king, will keep me from being the mother that I want to be. Both of you are so busy spinning narratives about how you think I might be, and I am here.” She turned to her stepmother. “All I ever wanted was for you to be a mother. And when I saw that that wouldn’t ever happen, I wanted you to at least show me kindness. But you couldn’t even do that. I’m no threat to you. I’ve done everything that you’ve ever asked me to do. And still, you will not allow me to be part of this family. And you.” She turned to the king. “I cared for you. I saw something in you. Kindness. And I’m a fool for that, because when I needed your kindness it wasn’t there. I don’t believe it ever was. Which means, I was mistaken. The both of you have left me feeling ill used. But between the two, I will choose you, Your Highness. Because if there’s one thing I know how to do, it is defer to the one in power for as long as I must. And that’s all it is.” She looked at her stepmother. “It’s all it is. There is no loyalty left within me, and if I should ever gain any power in this country, I will bestow nothing good upon you.”
Onyx grabbed her arm, and looked at her, his gaze full of fury. “I would not count on power.”
“Then let’s get the rest of the humiliation going, shall we?”
He pulled her out the front door, and her stepmother seemed to animate, shouting as they went. “I will alert the media that you have kidnapped my stepdaughter.”
“You will receive a payment. Keep your mouth quiet.”
And that was all it took to quiet her stepmother.
Birdie wished emphatically that the woman would get nothing. No money of any kind. But he seemed determined to silence her. That money would be the fastest way to do it.
There were two cars outside. One, a black town car, and the other a limousine. Andrei got into the town car, while Onyx pushed her into the back of the limo, and followed behind.
Once the door was closed behind them, the car was nothing but silent. “Is what your stepmother said true?”
“Now you ask me?”
“Yes,” he said. “I’m asking you.”
“How nice for me. Finally, I’m being consulted on myself.”
“I do not have time for you to have an attitude.”
“Yes. I am actually the Whore of Babylon that was foretold in the Book of Revelation. Sorry to disappoint you. The child might actually be the Antichrist.”
His expression was shocked. Surely no one had ever spoken to him like this before, but then, he’d probably never put anyone in this position before. She had nothing left to lose. Not her pride, not a single thing. She might as well let him have it. Utterly.
“I’ve never known you to be sharp-tongued in all the time you’ve worked in my study,” he said.
She laughed. “Because you don’t know me. Because I was a fixture. An appliance. A figment of your imagination. I have only ever been what is convenient for me to be in your mind. An invisible waif who brings you tea. A fantasy woman who gives you pleasure. A beautiful aristocrat for you to seduce in the garden, and once I became myself in that moment, it was easier for you to make me into a villain.” She paused to try to collect herself. “Do you think that you know your servants, Your Highness? Do you think that we show you the substance of who we are? I meant what I said. What I am very, very good at is being the thing that is required of me. But I have reached my end with that. I am going to be a mother. And I cannot care about your feelings regarding being a father to a child being carried by a commoner. Your feelings don’t concern me. If you would like to let me out of this car now, I’ll go. I won’t ask for a thing from you. I will make my own way, because that is something that I am very good at. Surviving. I will survive. And I’ll do it without you.”
“Is the child mine?”
“It is a ridiculous thing that you must continue to reframe a question you already have the answer to. I have not introduced this distrust. You have.”
“You maintain that it’s mine?” he pressed.
“Do a paternity test. I’m not engaging in debates about the state of my uterus with you.”
Silence fell in the car.
“You are contentious,” he said.
“No, Your Highness. I’m not allowing you to speak and let your insults go unanswered. I think you will find that you are the contentious one.”
She was proud of herself for that. If there was one thing she would do, it was stand on business for herself. For her child.
