“I do,” she said. And then, it was time for them to kiss. There had been no discussion of this, because there had been no discussion of anything. He moved his hand around to cup her head, and she remembered that night vividly. The way that his fingers had moved through her hair. And then the ball, when they had done the same. It was the way that he held her; maybe it was the way he held all women when he was about to kiss them. Maybe there was nothing special about it, but it felt singular. And as his lips touched hers, she was transported back to that moment. Transported back to the very first time.
She had been so convinced that there was no hope left inside of her. But it began to stir. She felt the pieces of her heart begin to rattle. Felt some sense that maybe, just maybe this was still between them.
No. You don’t need this.
She told herself that sternly, and then, she was the one who broke the kiss, which likely shattered all manner of protocol, and she had no idea how it looked to the people sitting in the chapel.
She hadn’t thought about them even once. Hadn’t looked out to see who was watching the two of them get married. She had wondered about it for a moment. And then no more. They were pronounced then, and Onyx held her hand as they walked down the aisle together. There was no reception planned for the day, and she was grateful for that when Onyx turned to her. His expression was stern, and forbidding.
“It is done,” he said.
“Yes. It is.”
“I will leave you. There is a new room being prepared for you. You will be taking the queen’s quarters now.”
“Oh.”
“They adjoin mine, but do not fear. I will not take advantage of the door between the two rooms.”
“No. I suppose not.”
“I didn’t when Circe occupied them either.”
Of course. Because she was the second of his queens to occupy the space. And he hadn’t…
He hadn’t used her door either.
She frowned. She wanted to ask him questions, but she knew that he wouldn’t welcome them. She knew that it wasn’t anything he would want to speak of. At least not to her.
And meanwhile, she was nothing but the replacement queen. And only because she was carrying a baby. If not for that, then she wouldn’t be here at all.
She allowed him to lead her to the quarters, but he didn’t touch her when they walked. It was in a distant wing of the palace, one she had never been in, because that wasn’t part of her job. She walked into the room, which was ornate, filled with bright colors, and she felt her stomach pitch, because obviously it was Circe who had decorated this room, and Birdie had slept with the woman’s husband the night of her funeral.
“You may make any changes that you want,” he said.
“Oh.”
“This is your room now. You’re not obligated to leave anything the same.”
“All right.”
It felt wrong to make changes. It felt like she was erasing this other person whose position she had already taken. And everybody was going to know exactly how it happened. Maybe they would even think that she and Onyx had been having an affair.
But they hadn’t been. That had to matter.
Still. There was something entirely uncomfortable about the idea of both living in Circe’s space, and erasing her from it.
Her throat felt prickly.
“I have some things to see to.”
“On your wedding day?”
“The world doesn’t stop spinning for any reason.”
“Right. I suppose that’s true.”
“We will have to take dinner together. It is simply expected.”
