She moved closer, perching cautiously on the edge of the bed. He lowered himself into the chair opposite, firelight flickering across the planes of his face and the faint lines of old battles written across his skin.
“What happened?” she asked softly, nodding toward his scars.
“Life.” His voice was hard, defensive. She wondered how many people had seen Evan like this. Exposed. Vulnerable. She suspected it wasn’t many.
“That’s not an answer.”
A faint smile ghosted across his lips. “Ye always push.”
“Occupational hazard.”
He studied her for a long moment before sighing. “As ye may have gathered, my family life was...complicated,” he said quietly. “After my parents’ deaths, Bryce inherited the earldom. He tried to consolidate the estate—tighten his grip on everything. There were disputes. Legal wrangling. My brothers and I were awarded small shares. Enough to satisfy the law. Not enough to matter.” Bitterness edged his tone. “It turned us against one another. Instead of standing together, we fought. Words turned to resentment. Resentment to distance.”
“And you left,” Ruby said.
He nodded. “I thought I’d make my own fortune. Become a legitimate trader. Spices. Textiles. Something respectable.” He huffed a humorless laugh. “Turns out respectability requires capital and connections. I had neither.”
“So you became a smuggler.”
“Aye. And that life comes with...risks.” He glanced down at the scars still visible through his half-tied tunic. “I’ve lost count of the number of fights I’ve been in or the number of people who have tried to murder me.” He smiled humorlessly. “So far, they’ve been unsuccessful but they’ve all left something for me to remember them by.”
“I’m sorry.”
He rose to his feet, turned to look out of the window. “Dinna be. It’s the life I chose. And none of it is yer fault.” His voice had softened and as Ruby looked up, he turned to watch her, his gaze dark and intense. She felt heat creep up her cheeks.
“I’m sorry I hurt ye,” he breathed. “I never wanted that. I can be an unconscionable bastard at times but hurting ye...never. I just didnae think the truth about me mattered, that ye wouldnae stick around long enough for it to matter, that this wouldnae become...” He swallowed, his words drying up.
Ruby swallowed. “Wouldn’t become what?”
His eyes found hers. “Ye know what.”
Her heart was suddenly beating very fast. The room seemed stiflingly hot. She found herself rising and stepping closer to Evan, so close that she could feel the heat from his skin, smell the scent of his damp hair. His hand came up to rest against the side of her face.
“Ruby,” he breathed.
He said her name like a promise. Like a glimpse of everything that could exist between them if only she dared take the risk.
Then suddenly Daniel’s face flashed into her mind and with it came all the tangled, burning emotions she thought she’d buried. Anger. Resentment.
And hurt. Bone deep hurt.
With a gasp, she pulled away from Evan, stepped back and put some space between them. What was she doing? This was madness. Did she want to end up getting hurt all over again? Hadn’t she learned her lesson by now?
Evan didn’t move. Didn’t move towards her. Didn’t look away.
“Who was it?” he asked softly.
Ruby dare not look at him. She turned her back. Her heart was still pounding and she feared what she might do if she let herself meet his fierce, intense gaze. Instead, she stared at the window, at the overcast sky beyond. Starlings were whirling and swooping through the air.
“Who was what?”
“The bastard that hurt ye. This betrothed ye mentioned?”
Ruby went rigid. The room suddenly seemed too small. She wanted to flee. She wanted to get away from the horrible, painful emotions and this man who brought them all bubbling to the surface.
But she was done running.You don’t want regrets. Charlie’s words echoed in her mind.We don’t get to choose who we fall for.
“His name was Daniel,” she said at last. “He’s the one I was going to marry. The one I came here to escape. I thought we were building something solid. Safe.” Her voice trembled despite her best efforts. “I was wrong.”
