He lay on his bed, staring up at the rafters, watching the way the light from the dying embers of the fire played across the ceiling. All night he’d tossed and turned, his thoughts swinging between images of Elise’s hurt expression and images of theSea Star, listing and broken.
His heart or his duty. One or the other. He couldn’t follow them both.
With a curse, he swung his legs off the bed. It was early, barely dawn, and he heard no sounds echoing through the keep. Most would be sleeping in late today after the party last night, nursing sore heads and queasy stomachs.
But Jamie had barely touched a drop and had left after his dance with Elise. Staying any longer, staying in her company, would have been a torture he just couldn’t face.
So despite the early hour, he pulled on his boots and slung his plaid across his shoulders, before stepping into the corridor. The keep lay quiet and still. There was a chill in the air and the stone beneath his feet felt colder than usual.
He made his way through the quiet corridors and passages until he found himself outside a closed door hidden away near the kitchen. He didn’t bother to knock, pushing the door open and striding through.
He found Phillip MacClelland inside, sitting at his desk, leaning over a bowl of water. At Jamie’s entrance he lurched tohis feet, knocking the desk and sending water sloshing over the side of the bowl.
“Jamie!” he cried. “What the bloody hell—!”
Jamie gave a lopsided smile. “Morning to ye too. What are ye doing?”
Phillip glanced at the bowl. “Just my morning ablutions. The vapors from the hot water help to clear my airways.” His expression turned into a scowl. “Ye could have knocked ye know.”
Jamie closed the door behind him. “Aye. My apologies.” He crossed to the fire and stared into it. In the flickering flames, he seemed to see the last of his hopes turning into ash.
“My laird? I didnae expect to see ye at this hour. Is everything well?”
Jamie turned to look at his old advisor. “No. It isnae. I need yer help. Ye are my oldest advisor. My father trusted ye implicitly.Itrust ye implicitly. I need to know if there is a way to change what’s coming.”
Phillip lowered himself into his chair and began mopping up the water with a cloth. “Ye’ll have to be more specific.”
“Ye know what I’m talking about. This marriage.”
Phillip sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Oh. That. Ye asked me to send for the envoy. He’s on his way.”
“I know what I said, damn it! But maybe there’s another way. If we could build a fleet strong enough, if we joined with Skye and Barra—if we showed the Crown and the pirates we can protect ourselves—then we can snap this damned noose that’s around our necks!”
Phillip leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers over his chest, studying Jamie. “How many ships could Skye and Barra field?”
Jamie turned towards him, pacing. “Fifteen, maybe twenty, if we pressed every able captain into service.”
“Not enough,” Phillip said flatly. “Even combined with our own fleet, ye’d still be leaving stretches of the coast unguarded. And if you drag the other islands into this, ye’ll only give the pirates more targets. It would spread our defenses thinner, not strengthen them.”
Jamie’s jaw tightened. “But it would spread the pirates’ own resources too.”
Phillp shrugged. “Perhaps. But we would still have no way of knowing where or when they would choose to attack.”
Jamie stopped his pacing and scowled at his advisor. “So ye are saying it’s hopeless?”
“I’m saying that it’s a complicated situation with no easy answer. We are walking a tightrope. One wrong step and we will fall.”
Jamie blew out a breath. “I know,” he said softly. “I know.”
Phillip regarded him for a moment. “Ye already know all this, my laird. Why are ye really asking? Is this because of Elise?”
Jamie spun to face him. “What do ye mean by that?”
Phillip held up his hands. “I meant no offense. I may be old but I’m not blind. Any fool can see how ye feel about her.”
Jamie let out a long breath, his shoulders sagging. “Lord help me, Phillip, I didnae plan for this.”
His counselor nodded. “Aye, I know, lad. It is a hard thing when our hearts lead us in one direction and our duty pulls us in another.”
