“Uh, yeah, fine,” I said as I shut the door behind me. “It’ll be out by four as usual.”
She gestured for me to sit, and I did. She tried to ask me another question about the Christmas event, but I cut her off; if I let this turn into a logistical catch-up, I knew I’d lose my nerve.
“So, Kim from design came to see me,” I said. “She wanted to use my illustrations from the gala for the website.”
Simone nodded. She was only half paying attention, looking down her nose at her screen rather than at me, scrolling through something. “They were very good. I’m not surprised.”
“Thank you,” I said. “The thing is … well, they need more of them.”
Simone flicked her wrist dismissively. “Oh, I’m sure they can handle it,” she said. “Don’t let them worry you.”
I took a deep breath in. “Actually, I want to help them.”
Simone stopped scrolling and slowly turned her head, looking over her glasses at me. She looked me over for a long moment, narrowing her eyes as she took me in. I tried to look as calm and collected as possible, but I couldn’t quite control my shallow breathing.
“You know how busy we are with Christmas,” she said. “I don’t see how it would be possible to do both.”
I didn’t say anything yet; I could tell she was thinking.
“This is exactly what happened with the gala,” she said, probably remembering, as I was, how I’d burst into her office with my tablet in hand to ask if I could work on those designs. I felt even more passionately about it now than I had then, but I knew Simone, and I knew she wouldn’t appreciate another outburst. So I held my nerve.
“That’s right,” I said. “I really love the design projects.”
“More than the events themselves?”
She was so incredibly straight to the point. And whether it was because I had another offer to fall back on, or just knew what I wanted, I decided I would be direct, too.
I nodded. And mentally shat my pants, but she didn’t need to know that. I kept my face looking as unbothered as possible.
“Do you … want to work in design?”
“Ideally, at some point, in the long term … yes.”
“I see,” she said, sitting back in her chair and taking her glasses off. “I didn’t know that about you.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t either, really. Not until recently.”
She tapped one arm of her glasses to her lips, which were pursed in thought. She stayed that way for what felt like minutes, before she started nodding.
“Well, I can’t lose you until after the Christmas event,” she said. “You’re too far down that road. But if we can hire someone quickly enough to start working on the next event before then, I can make it work. I’ll put you in touch with the Design Manager so you can start interviewing in the meantime, though I suspect it’ll be more of a formality.”
My eyes went wide.Wait, what??
“Sorry,” I said, struggling to comprehend whilst my brain was busy doing pirouettes, “you’re just going to give me a design job? You’re not firing me?”
Simone laughed. “Fire you? Absolutely not. I’m gutted to lose you, in fact.”
“You are?”
“And no, I’m not giving you a job. But based on the fact that they want to use your designs for the website, I can’t imagine you’ll have a hard time getting it. I’d say that’s pretty good leverage, in fact.”
I stared at Simone for a long moment, appreciating her more than I ever had. This was the second time she’d done me what felt like a massive favour. I’d always been a little bit terrified of her, but it turned out she was my greatest ally in this place.
“I don’t relish the idea of having to hire your replacement,” she said, and I offered her a suggestion almost before she’d even finished the sentence.
“Chloe Barlow,” I said. “She’d be brilliant at it.” I didn’t even know if that was true, but based on how jealous she’d been of my promotion, I knew she should have the chance to try.
“Great,” Simone said with a huff, “so I’d just have to find a replacement for her instead. You know I still haven’t filled Cara’s role, and I haven’t even touched your backfill yet. That would be half my fundraising team gone.”
