I looked back to Amy– could this be what had her so upset? Who were they?– and I saw a tear roll down her face.
Poppy was mid-sentence when I rose, abandoning my drink and walking across the bar without looking away from Amy. Despite my D&D character, there had been very few times when I’d involved myself in real life drama. But nothing in the world could have kept me in that seat when I saw Amy start to cry.
Chapter5
Amy
That conniving bitch.
I could barely see through the tears forming in my eyes, but the sparkle glinting off the diamond ring on Niamh’s hand cut through it all. Niamh, my ex best friend. The woman who had welcomed me to Manchester with open arms. Who had ushered me into the friend group, set me up with her friend Chris, and then fucked him for months behind my back. And now she was sitting in a bar in my town, making out with him like she wanted to rub it in my face. Like the fact that they were engaged now made any difference to the way they’d hurt me.
My horoscope that morning had said not to be afraid to get my hands dirty, and I’d assumed that was referencing meeting up with my nasty ex-boyfriend for whatever desperate reason he had. But now, all I felt was gross, watching the two of them all over one another. I’d need a lot more than the amethyst pendant around my neck to deal with the level of toxic energy in that bar.
I felt Phil’s presence before I saw him, and I’d barely processed that it was him before I was in his arms. It wasn’t until my face felt wet against his shirt that I realised I was actually crying. At least Niamh and Chris had been too preoccupied to see; that would have been humiliating.
In theory, it should have been embarrassing to have Phil see me like that, too, but for whatever reason, I didn’t feel embarrassed. Maybe I was too preoccupied by the fact I’d just been forced to watch one of the greatest betrayals of my life play out in real time.
“Who are they?” he asked after he’d held me for a moment.
“My ex-boyfriend and ex best friend.” I knew he knew the basics; Chloe had gotten me drunk enough to tell her a couple months after we’d moved home, and Jack had let slip a few weeks later that he knew. So I only assumed the whole group was well informed of how pathetically my time in Manchester had ended.
“Well shit,” he said, and I took that as confirmation that he did, in fact, know.
“Shit indeed.”
“Were you expecting them?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. I pulled back from the hug, but he didn’t quite let me go. “I should have been. Chris said he needed to see me. I should have known she’d be behind it. He wasn’t even bothered to see me half the time when we were together.”
“Idiot.”
“I can’t do this, Phil.” I heard my voice strain into a whine, which I normally would never let happen in front of him– my greatest fear with Phil had always been that he would think me childish– but something about the way his hands grasped my arms or the sympathetic look on his face made me feel like I didn’t need to try to hold it together. “I thought I would be okay to see him, to find out what he wanted, but I don’t think I can handle both of them. Especially not if they’re engaged. God, she’ll be fucking insufferable as a bride.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do. Just go home. I can take care of it.”
“How’s that?”
He shrugged. “I’ll walk in and tell him you don’t want to see him. Easy as that.”
I let out a huff of laughter through my nose and shook my head. “No, if they think they’ve gotten to me, they win.”
“But theyhavegotten to you,” he said softly, and somehow it didn’t sound judgmental. “And that’s okay. You’re allowed to have feelings.”
Except no, I wasn’t. Everyone in my life had made that abundantly clear. Phil himself had made that clear five years ago. I’d been the dramatic one growing up, wearing my heart on my sleeve, and I’d learned that it was hiding those feelings that made other people tolerate me.
I looked in through the window again to see that the making out had eased, and they were just staring into one another’s eyes. God, they really did look perfect together, with their expensive shirts and their shiny hair. How I’d ever thought I’d fit with either of them was beyond me.
But by staying away, by letting Phil fight my battle for me, I would be proving them right. They’d already taken so much away from me. The people I’d thought were my friends had taken their side in the fallout, and I’d had to move home with my tail between my legs.
No, I refused to cower outside like a scared puppy.
I was at least five minutes late by now, and as I was debating what to do, Niamh looked up from her love bubble, her eyes meeting mine almost instantly. Her face broke into a huge grin, and she waved chaotically like a child, beckoning me inside. She seemed genuinely happy to see me, but all I felt was rage. The bitter taste in my mouth grew stronger as I realised I definitely couldn’t walk away now.
I took a deep breath and turned around so I could wipe my eyes without her seeing.Don’t let them see you sweat, I told myself.Embody your inner bad bitch.They needed to see just how unaffected I was by what they’d done– even if I had in fact been deeply affected. They needed to realise they weren’t the main characters in my story, or anyone else’s for that matter.
And suddenly, I had an idea that was just unhinged enough that it might work, given the Gemini I had standing next to me.
I turned back around and smiled at Niamh, who was standing up from the table, channelling as much enthusiasm into the expression as I could. Then I looked at Phil, who instantly frowned deeply enough that it caused the shape of his beard to change entirely.
