“And I’m not sure you having something else to pay attention to right now is the flexyouthink it is.”
I rolled my eyes. Jack and I mostly got along these days– we had been pretty close since he’d moved home from full-time travel a few years ago– but sometimes we couldn’t help but slip back into big brother/little sister mode.
I looked down at my phone, instantly wishing I hadn’t bothered to pull it out at all. The one notification I did have– which was a miracle in and of itself, because despite my big talk I didn’t actually have anyone else who might message me anymore– was yet another email from Chris. I swiped to dismiss it as quickly as possible; even just looking at his name made me feel sick to my stomach.
“Everything okay?”
Phil was studying me from the other end of the picnic table.
“Yeah, why?” I widened my eyes and looked around as if his question were baseless.
“You just looked tweaked,” he said, shrugging, and I tried my best to keep my face neutral. I shook my head.
“Nope.”
“Okay, well,” Phil said, bringing his hands to his knees and standing up from the table, “I’ve gotta get back to Ethel. But I’ll see you nerds next week.”
“You’re not coming to the quiz?” Chloe asked, an exaggerated pout on her face.
“Probably not.”
He made his way around the table, giving each person a hug, including Jack. Even as kids, they’d always given each other proper hugs when saying goodbye. But then he got to me, and I realised I would have to hug Phil, otherwise it would look extremely suspicious. He seemed to have the same realisation at the same time, pausing as he turned from Chloe to me.
“See ya,” I said, standing up and determining to keep it as casual as possible. I reached out just my right arm for a side hug, but he did the same with his own right arm, meaning we ended up reaching past one another in a way that made a full hug inevitable.
It’s not that hugging Phil was unpleasant. In fact, it was quite the opposite; he was only a few inches taller than me, and I knew from experience that I could just about tuck my head under his chin, my cheek against his chest. I didn’t intend to do that, but it was as if my body remembered what it was like to hug him properly, even if we hadn’t done so in months. Years, maybe. In fact, I wasn’t sure if we’d hugged like this since that night five years ago.
He pulled me into him, his arms wrapping around my back just tight enough, his chin propping on the top of my head. Despite the heat, he wasn’t sweaty, and he smelled fresh, like unscented soap, and a little bit earthy. I resisted the urge to breathe in deeply, but only just.
“Sorry for the change of plans this weekend,” he said, not yet pulling away, and I could feel his voice against my temple as it reverberated through him.
I opened my eyes and realised Jack was watching us, his eyes narrowed. I wasn’t actually sure how long I’d been hugging Phil, but clearly it had been long enough.
“It’s fine,” I said, pulling back. “I’ll see you next week like you said.”
“Don’t forget, we’re camping next week,” Morgan said.
“Oh shit, yeah,” Phil said, looking apologetic. “And Anil’s staying with Ethel all weekend.”
“Oh yeah, sure,” I said, trying to hide any shred of disappointment. I really did like hanging out with Ethel, so I was sad not to see her two weeks in a row. But more than that, I was surprised at how bummed I was not to be playing D&D next week. I caught Morgan’s eye briefly, and she frowned at me, though I wasn’t sure why.
As Phil turned to leave, I suddenly remembered that I had something with me that I’d planned to give to Ethel.
“Hey, wait,” I said, reaching down for my bag and digging out the stone I’d bought online last week. “Can you add this to the windowsill?”
He looked down at the pink and black crystal I held out to him. “What’s this one then?”
“Rhodonite. It’s supposed to be good for using other senses to help with memory.”
I couldn’t quite tell with his beard in the way, but I was pretty sure his mouth quirked into a slight smile. “Sure,” he said, plucking it from my palm.
“You’ve gotta charge it though,” I said. “Under the new moon tonight.”
Phil rolled his eyes, but the smile didn’t dissipate. “Utter hogwash, all of it,” he said, but I knew he’d do it anyway. I was pretty sure it hadn’t been Ethel or Anil dusting the ones I’d put on the windowsill so far.
“Interesting,” Chloe said as I sat back down and narrowed my eyes at her. She liked to make pointed comments about Phil and me from time to time– hell, even Jack had gotten involved since I’d moved home last year– but Chloe knew better than anyone why that would never happen.
Better than anyone but Phil, that was.
