“I don’t really think it’s the same though, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“No, I know,” Morgan said. “Jack and I were each standing in our own way. You and Phil have much more tangible hurdles in your way.”
“There is no Phil and me,” I said, maybe a little more forcefully than I needed to. “Not really. He made that crystal clear when he said that at least I’d finally gotten to live out my fantasy of being with him.”
Morgan winced. “Ew, he said that to you?”
I nodded. “I’m pretty sure he only said it because he was trying to drive me away. But it fucking worked.”
“Well, I’m sorry he was such a dick. For someone who’s such a good friend, it sucks to know he was such a shitty boyfriend.”
I wished that had been true. If he’d been horrible to be with, it might have been easier to rid myself of the feelings I’d harboured for so long. I could have resented him, like I resented Chris and Niamh, knowing that they had never been good for me. But no, I couldn’t even have that satisfaction. Because up until that last moment, he’d been perfect. And losing him hurt all the more for it.
We carried our wine back into the lounge and curled up on the sofa again to watch the film. But before Chloe pressed play, Fatima cleared her throat.
“Just one more thing before I forget,” she said. “I know it’s a few months away still, but I’ve been thinking about the next Ren Faire trip. I know we talked about Arizona, but if we’re happy to wait until a bit later in the year, I found a really cool Airbnb for the seven of us near the grounds of one in California. It’s supposed to be haunted, and it has a great dining room for some D&D sessions. What do you think?”
“Ooooh, sounds creepy,” Chloe said, steepling her fingers together.
“Count me out of anything creepy,” Morgan said, “but I’m definitely up for some games!”
The three of them turned to look at me, and I tried my best attempt at a smile.
“You sure?” I asked, thinking back to the conversation I’d overheard between Grey and Fatima a few weeks ago. “Obviously Phil and I aren’t together now, and I’m sure there are more options for six. Don’t feel you have to invite a tagalong just because I’m Jack’s little sister.”
“Ew, shut up,” Chloe said, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into her so forcefully I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be a hug or a headlock. “You may be Jack’s little sister, but that doesn’t mean you’re not part of the group.”
“You’re like the little sisterofthe group,” Fatima said. “Keeping us young.”
“Just like Fatima is group mum,” Morgan said. “She’s not actually our mum, but we let her herd us as if she were.”
Chloe snapped her fingers as she released me. “Mother is mothering.”
Fatima pulled a face. “You are nearly thirty, Chloe. Act like it.”
“Yes, mommy.”
Fatima grabbed the pillow from behind her back and jumped at Chloe, threatening to smother her with it. They crashed into me and then both dissolved into giggles, and I just held Chloe’s head in my lap as it turned as red as her hair.
“See?” Morgan asked from the other end of the couch, and smiled at me. “You’re right where you’re meant to be.”
“I’m starting to see that,” I said, smiling over at her. “By the way, I never did say thanks for bullying Fatima here into letting me join the D&D game.”
Morgan’s smile dropped as she pinched her brow together. Fatima and Chloe sat up suddenly from their tussle.
“What are you talking about?” Morgan asked.
I dropped my chin and looked slyly up at her, like we were sharing a secret. “Come on, I know it was you. You told Jack to invite me camping, you told Fatima to add me to the group…”
She shook her head. “I’d love to take credit for that but— Okay, I did tell Jack to invite you camping, but he forgot to do it, apparently. After we found out you and Phil were together, Phil just told him you were coming.”
My own smile fell as well. “Wait, that was Phil?”
Fatima sat forward. “Yeah, and honestly, Amy, he was the one who pushed for you to take Lauren’s spot when she left the game. Jack too, a bit, but Phil pestered me about it for weeks until I sent you a message.”
“Oh,” I said, looking down at my thumbs as I twiddled them in my lap. Even after all this time, after everything that had happened, it was weird to hear how badly he’d wanted me around, even then.
“But I’m glad he did,” Fatima added. “You’re part of the group now, like we said. And it’s weird, because it feels like you’ve always been here.”
