Teddy
Ishould have said no.Ishould have pretended to be ill, or just saidIdidn’t want to go.Citedsomething to do with jet lag, despite having been in theUKfor a week and a half.ButJenwas so excited whenItold herIhad plans.
She’d been on me about it for years, actually– not aboutDungeons&Dragons, of course, but about making friends.Shewould suggest local clubs or socials, especially with other “young farmers” in the area, as she’d call them, saying that, ifIwanted to make a permanent home atGwenynenone day,Ishould probably get some friends.
She didn’t get it, though.Friendsweren’t the point;Ididn’t need friends.WhenIwas back inCalifornia,Icould make friends just fine.Atleast whenIwas younger, anyway; sure,I’dspent most stateside nights the past few years alone in my van, but that was a personal preference.Thepoint of wanting to move toWalesfull time was thatGwenynenwas my home, andJenwas my family.AllIneeded was her,Willow,Maggie, and the bees.Ididn’t need friends or clubs or any of that to feel at home.Tohave a perfectly full life.Mom’sdream for us had always been a little insular family at the farm, andIstill wanted that for myself.
WhenJenhad asked whereIwas going, shocked to see me actually leaving for the evening,I’dthought about lying to her, knowing she’d be like a dog with a bone.Ididn’t know how to tell her whyI’ddecided this was the social inviteIwould accept, rather than theYoungFarmersClub, or the people her friends tried to set me up with, or the sons of the guy who farmed the neighbouring fields.Iwasn’t quick enough, though, andI’dhad to tell her the truth.
“Some ofChloe’sfriends are playing games, and they’ve invited me to join.”
Jen’s face had gone pink with joy as she’d pulled me into an uncomfortable hug; probably only uncomfortable becauseIdidn’t hug her back.
“It’s not a big deal,”I’dsaid.
“Sure,” she’d said, winking at me. “Ofcourse not.Buthave fun, will you?”
Which was howIfound myself next toChloeat a stranger’s dining table, surrounded by other strangers whose names had been rattled off so quicklyIhadn’t stood a chance, staring at increasingly complicated chunks of resin.
“This is the one you’ll use most of the time,” saidFatima, pointing to the die with a twenty facing upward.Shewas the only one whose nameIknew, since she’d repeated it for me.Sheseemed to be the leader of the group.She’dgiven me a piece of paper with information about the characterI’dbe playing– she’d actually asked ifIknew whatIwanted to play, then slid me the piece of paper whenI’dstared wide-eyed back at her in response– and she had a bunch of notebooks and reference materials in front of her.
“I’ll tell you which one to roll and when.”
“Ooh,Ihave an idea!” said the leggy blonde sat across from me, rummaging through what looked like a pencil case full of dice.Sheended up dumping the whole lot onto the table– they clattered across the surface, the sparkly ones catching the light in a wayIhad to admit was quite mesmerising.
“How you have all of those dice after less than a year of playing is beyond me,” said the bearded guy next to her.
“Fuck off,” she retorted. “Youbought me half of these.”
“It’s the classic dice goblin pipeline,”Chloesaid, helping the blonde push the dice into a more concentrated pile. “Thequantityof new sets will tail off eventually, but they’ll get progressively more expensive.”
The girl plucked seemingly random dice from the pile and swapped them out with some of the ones in front of me.Now, instead of a matching black set, each one was a different colour or pattern.
“Now you can just say ‘the pink one’ or ‘the one with the ducks’.”
Fatima nodded. “Goodshout.”Sheturned back to me.
“I won’t introduce you for a few minutes, so you can just watch how the others play for a while, okay?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
She smiled, but said smile dropped instantly when she looked up at the rest of the table.Chloehad her hand up as if she were sat in class.
“Yes,Chloe?”Fatima’svoice sounded strained, like she already knewChloe’squestion would annoy her.
“Bio break?”Chloeasked, sounding almost sheepish.
Fatima groaned.She’dgiven everyone a two-minute warning about eight minutes ago. “Fine.Buteveryone please get situated after that.Westart in five.”
Chloe shot up and out of the room, and the curly-haired girl at the other end stood up and started calling for the little teddy bear of a dog sniffing my ankles.Ireached down to scratch his head.
“You smellWillow, don’t you?”Iasked as he turned his head to lick my palm.
“Do you have a dog?” the girl asked.Inodded. “Youshould bring it next time if you play again.Pabloloves playdates.”
I nodded back, even thoughIwas far from willing to commit to a repeat of this yet.
She eventually managed to lurePabloaway from my feet– of courseIremembered the dog’s name, no problem– leading him through a door at the back of the room for his own bio break.
