“Okay, what doIneed to sign?”Iasked, scrolling through the email thread– wow,Simonewasnothappy thatI’dbeen ignoring her– untilIfound the attached form.ButwhatIsaw wasn’t just a simple one-pager; it was a nineteen-page application form.
“It’s not that easy,”Simonesaid with a sigh. “Youhave toapplyfor sabbatical.It’spart of the continued personal development scheme.Youhave to show how your sabbatical will help you grow as a person and be better at your job.”
I pulled a face. “Didn’tEllenin operations use her sabbatical last year to run ultramarathons inSouthAmericaor something?Howdoes that help her be better at her job?”
“She made something up!”Simonewas practically shouting at me now. “Probablysaid something about how it made her more focused and tenacious.That’swhatIwould say.It’sjust a hoop to jump through,Chloe.Butyou have to actually jump.Ican’t do this for you, and, frankly,Idon’t want to.Ifyou don’t care enough to actually apply for the sabbatical, then maybe you shouldn’t work here.”
She wasn’t wrong–Ididn’t care enough.Aspassionate asI’dfelt about the actual rescue, the workI’dbeen doing there had been life-draining.Havingfinally found somethingIdid care about, my old job felt pretty unimportant to me in comparison.
But she was also right thatIneeded to play the game.Jumpthrough the hoops.Because, as much asIfelt like the work atGwenynenwas whatIshould be doing, it wasn’t guaranteed.Notlong-term.AndifIlet things blow up at the rescue,Iwouldn’t have a back-up plan for if things didn’t work out.Andplus, there were other people who needed to be able to make decisions based on whatIwas doing–Simonemore than anyone.
“I’ll get it to you by lunchtime,”Iresolved. “I’msorry,Simone.”
“Fine,” she said, andItook it for the acceptance it was. “Andthat better mean midday,Chloe, not a late lunch.”
“Midday,”Isaid.Andthen the line went quiet.Ilooked at my phone to see thatSimonehad ended the call.
“Wanna tell me what the hell that was?”
I looked up to see thatTeddywas now staring directly at me.
“Do you have another job or something?”
I shrugged. “Sortof.I’mtaking a sabbatical.”
“Sounds like youhaven’ttaken a sabbatical.”
I frowned. “I’mdealing with it.It’sfine.”
“And how long is this sabbatical supposed to be?”
“Up to six months,”Isaid, sitting back down at my laptop and opening the application form.Ofcourse it wasn’t afillablePDF;I’dhave to do it by hand. “Doyou have a printer here?”
“Could the farm get in trouble for hiring you?”Teddyasked, indignant, andIlooked up to meet her gaze.Shelooked furious.
“I highly doubt it,”Isaid, trying to reassure her, but a muscle in her jaw twitched as she clenched it, andIknewIhadn’t succeeded in calming her down.Mystomach clenched, too, as ifIwere about to take a hit.I’dseen this look on her face before.
“But you don’tknow,” she said– not a question. “Youhave no idea if you’re legally allowed to take a second salaried job.Orif we could get in trouble.Butyou did it anyway.”
“It’s fine,”Isaid, feeling myself slip into the charm offensive, a smile quirking at the corner of my mouth.Fawnmode, the internet psychologists called it.Defusethe situation as best as possible. “Thatwas my boss, and we’re going to be fine.Ijust need to submit a form today, and we’ll be all good.”
But, just asI’dfeared it would, my attempts to smooth the situation had made it worse.Teddyslammed her laptop shut.
“Yeah, well, you’d better make sure you dot yourIsand cross yourTs.Ican’t believe you would put us in this position.”
“It’s really not that big of a deal,Teddy,”Isaid, butIknew it was weak.Itwas a big deal.Evenif the farm couldn’t get in trouble for hiring me–Iwould have been shocked if anyone but me could be held accountable for that– ifIhad to quit suddenly becauseI’ddone something wrong,I’dbe leaving them high and dry.Shit,Ireally had fucked up, hadn’tI?
“It is,”Teddyinsisted, echoing my own thoughts, as she stood up and tucked her laptop beneath her arm. “I’mgoing to work from my room.Bythe timeIsee you next, you’d better be able to assure me this won’t be a problem.”
I swallowed hard and nodded.Thenshe turned and left the hut, seemingly unfazed by the rain falling on her as she went.
* * *
I did manageto get my sabbatical application toSimonebefore lunch– 11:37, in fact– andIwas embarrassed at how easilyI’dcompleted it.IfIhadn’t been avoiding her emails for weeks,Icould have had it sorted on day one.Ithad been easy to write about how my community building, marketing, and event planning work at the farm would translate to my job at the rescue, even ifIhopedIwouldn’t have to go back.AndwhenIgot to the last page,Iwas touched and a little embarrassed to see that, despite my antics,Simonehad already filled in the manager endorsement section for me.
I got a response from her within minutes of sending the form in:
From: [email protected]
