It had been harder to ignore the growing tension betweenChloeand me atD&D.Ourcharacters bickered in a way that felt a little too real; a little too charged.Thatfirst week, whenFatimahad asked ifIwanted to join them at the pub afterward,I’dlooked atChloe, hoping for some sign that she wanted me there.Instead, she’d looked away quickly, andI’dtaken that as my answer.AndthoughIhadn’t wanted to intrude,I’dfelt the longing to be there anyway.Thefeeling of being on the outside looking in was just familiar enough to be unsurprising, and just acute enough to be painful.
I’d started joining them a couple of weeks later, but only now was it starting to feel less likeIwas an interloper.Itwas easier now thatIwas forming one-on-one friendships– kayaking withJack, texting withFatima– andIwas getting more comfortable.Theywere clearly making a real effort to include me, too; they explained inside jokes when they came up, teased me as much as they teased each other, and took it as well as they dished it out.Butalso, they were just good people.Funto be around.Enoughso that it made me wonder if maybeJenhad been right, andI’dbeen doing myself a disservice by isolating myself all this time.
The weirdest part of all of it, though?Ireally fucking lovedD&D.Inever would have pictured myself doing something so … well, geeky, but there was something so freeing about it.Maybeit was becauseFatimawas just so damn good at building out the story for us, or maybe it felt good to step into another character’s shoes for a while.Actand speak and decide rashly and with gusto, without worrying about the consequences.EvenifIcould sense danger ahead when it came to my character’s dynamic withChloe’schaotic half-demon, given how closely it mirrored whatever was changing between us in real life.Still, it was nice to have the roleplay to hide behind, at least onThursdaynights.
Chloe had been avoiding me all week at work, though.Iunderstood why–I’drejected her at the cheese festival, crashed her girls’ night, and then cornered her in the kitchen– but it was really annoying timing, given that it felt like we were finally starting to get along.And, yeah, okay, things had gotten a bit charged at girls’ night, just like they had at the cheese festival, and then again in character atD&D.Butnothing had happened; nothing we couldn’t easily come back from, anyway.
As it turned out,Ididn’tlikenot talking to her.Notone bit.Whichannoyed me, becauseI’dalways been spectacularly good at not talking to people.
But we’d both been busy enough that it was easy to coexist without actually having to interact much.Ihad plenty to keep me occupied– the hives needed splitting again after the warm weather had sent the colonies into overdrive, the flowerbeds were exploding with growth that needed constant management, andI’dspent the last two days planting out still more seedlings.
Still, despite my own to-do list, ifIwanted to mend fences,Ifigured the best thing would be to lean in and help her get ready for the festival.Evenif that meant wearing a different colouredT-shirt in front of the camera.SoIdetermined that, as soon as she was done avoiding me,I’dbe ready to play nice.
My phone buzzed whileIwas in the shed, examining a cross-bred peonyI’dbeen experimenting with.
FATIMA
Hot teacher development
I sloughed off my gloves and sat down to focus.Thiswas exciting.Fatimahad admitted to me that she had a workplace nemesis, too: a relatively new teacher who was “painfully attractive” (her words) but being a dick at staff meetings.
TEDDY
You finally fucked in the supply cupboard?
FATIMA
No, but he did ask me to lunch on our inset day next month
TEDDY
And you’re going, yes?
FATIMA
Idk, he’s been so rude.Itold you about how he made fun of me for spending my weekend planning a lesson, right?
TEDDY
You did, butIstill think he was trying to give you kudos to the head teacher??
FATIMA
I guess he has been kind of nice.Andhe’s not as gym bro-esque asI’doriginally thought
TEDDY
Maybe you were wrong about him?
Maybe he’s not such a bad guy?
And that’s coming from me, about a man.
FATIMA
Then maybe you should try applying it to the women in your life?
TEDDY
