The words landed heavily between us, andIfelt a sick twist of guilt in my stomach.Itwasn’t lost on me that those words echoed whatI’dsaid to her all those months ago, even ifChloeherself couldn’t see the parallel. “Theythink you’re flitting through life,”Isaid quietly.
Chloe’s head snapped up, andIsaw recognition flicker across her face. “Somethinglike that, yeah.”
“Christ,Chloe.I’msorry.Ishouldn’t have said that to you.”
She shrugged, butIcould see the hurt she was trying to hide. “Youweren’t entirely wrong, were you?Iwas pretty aimless before findingGwenynen.Stillam, compared to some.”
“No,”Isaid firmly. “Iwas angry, andItook it out on you, and that wasn’t fair.Youdidn’t deserve that.”
Chloe looked like she wanted to argue the point, but something in my tone must have convinced her to let it go.Instead, she just nodded and turned back to her laptop, thoughIcould see a blush of embarrassment creeping up her neck.
“For what it’s worth,”Isaid after a moment, “I’vebeen ignoring calls from my dad, too.Itold you he’s an alcoholic– well, he keeps forgettingI’mnot inCaliforniaright now.Askingme to come over, or pick him up from bars, or just … talk.Buthe can barely hold a conversation.”
I wasn’t sure whyIwas telling her this.Maybebecause she’d been honest with me, and it felt only fair to return the favour.
“That sounds really hard,”Chloesaid softly.
“It is.Youknow, he was fine whenIwas growing up.Present, involved, supportive.ButlikeIsaid, afterMomdied…”Itrailed off, not sure how to describe the gradual erosion of the fatherI’dknown. “Now, he’s just so sad all the time.Andbeing around him makesmesad.WhichIcan handle whenI’mhere, but whenI’mback inCalifornia, drifting between temporary jobs and counting down the days untilIget to come back … it’s too easy to get sucked into his despair.”
Chloe was quiet for a long moment, andIwondered ifI’dshared too much again.Butwhen she looked at me, there was understanding in her eyes.
“That makes sense,” she said simply, looking back down at her computer. “It’shard to be strong for someone else when you’re struggling yourself.”
“Yeah,”Isaid, relieved that she understood. “Exactly.”
“This place means everything to you,” she said, her voice soft and sad, andIlooked over to see that she was picking at her cuticles.
“It does.”Therewas no mincing words;Gwenynenwas my whole world.Or, at least,Iwanted it to be.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Iknow me being here has made things harder in that regard.”
“No,”Isaid instantly, sharply enough that her gaze snapped back up to me. “Youdon’t make things hard,Chloe.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes slightly. “Beso for real,Teddy.Yousaid it to me day one– that me being here is getting in your way.Imay not know the specifics, butIcan put two and two together.Jencan’t afford both of us, can she?”
Okay, she wasn’t wrong about that.ButI’dlong moved past viewing her as a barrier.HadIreally not shown that to her?Didshe thinkIstill wanted her gone?Didshe thinkIwas still put out by her being here?
“Chloe,”Isaid, scooting my chair around to face her.Sheshut her laptop and faced me, too, our knees just inches apart. “IknowIwasn’t the picture of hospitality that first day, andI’msorry for that.ButIpromise you,Idon’t think of you being here as something to overcome.Notanymore.Youbeing here is a good thing.You’rereally good for this place.”Goodfor me,Ididn’t say.
Chloe blushed, andIcould see from the twitch of her lips that she was actively stopping herself from responding sarcastically.Itmade me chuckle, which made her start laughing, too.
“Okay, but?—”
I cut her off with a finger in the air. “Nope,”Isaid, shaking my head. “Wedon’t need to swap sentimental statements right now, or apologies, or anything like that.Ijust wanted to clear that up.”
She smiled and nodded, pressing her mouth into a thin line, and reopened her laptop.Asshe started working again,Iwatched her for a moment, gladI’dcleared things up.GladIwasn’t contributing to whatever inferiority complex her shitty parents had given her.
AndIdidn’t even have to endure an unintentionally horny moment to do it.
* * *
We workedin comfortable silence after that, the rain drumming steadily against the studio windows.Ifound myself stealing more and more glances atChloeas she worked, noting the way she chewed her bottom lip when she was thinking, and the way she tucked her hair behind her ear when it fell across her face.
Around lunchtime, her phone rang again, and this time she answered it.
“Hi, this isChloefromGwenynenHollow…Yes, thanks for ringing me back.Iwas calling about participating in the festival we’re hosting at the end ofAugust… you did?That’sgreat.So, basically, we’d love to have you,Ijust wanted to ask about your sustainability practices to make sure they align with the ethos we’re going for…”
I listened as she interrogated whoever was on the other end– a cheesemonger, from the sound of things– about their sourcing methods, their waste management processes, and their approach to packaging and transportation.Shewasthoroughwithout being aggressive; friendly while still making it clear that we had standards that needed to be met.Itmade me beam with pride.JenandIhad worked so hard to do things the right way over the years– we could have grown the farm so much faster if we’d been more conventional, but we wanted to be proud of the way we’d done it.So, to seeChloenot only respecting that effort but enforcing it in the relationships she was building for us?Honestly, it made me a bit emotional.
