“It wasChloe’sidea,”Amysaid whenIcomplimented their coordination. “Shewanted you to fit in.”
Amy gestured at my all-black outfit, and something warm bloomed in my chest.Ilooked up atChloe, who smiled sheepishly at me.
“Thank you,”Isaid quietly, my voice thick, amazed at how little it took to make me feel genuinely touched. “Youall look amazing.”
“You, too,”Fatimasaid, butIwas still looking atChloe, whose eyes were fixed at her feet.
A hobbit walked up and tappedGreyon the shoulder, asking if they were queueing, andChloejumped to wave them over and help them.Iwatched her work for a long moment,appreciatingthe way her auburn hair looked against the green corset, and how the pink flush from her embarrassment stood out against them both.
She sold the hobbit a bottle of mead, and another after their dice roll, then waved after them as they left.Itwasn’t untilIlooked away, not wanting to get caught staring, thatIrealised at some point the others had gone.
* * *
As the afternoon wore on,Istarted noticing a problem.Ourstock levels were dropping fast– way faster thanI’dexpected, even with the extra we’d brought.Itwas a good problem to have,Iguessed, but we still had another day of the festival to go.
By the time the sun set, the wicker burning ceremony began, and the market area emptied of customers, we were down to maybe a dozen bottles left.
“We’re going to sell out completely in about five minutes tomorrow,”Isaid toChloeas we watched the massive wicker structure go up in flames in the distance.
“That’s great though, isn’t it?” she asked, turning to look at me with bright eyes. “Wecould close up early tomorrow, and you could actually enjoy the festival.”
The way she was looking at me– hopeful, excited, like she was imagining us wandering the festival together– made my chest tighten with possibility.Icould see it, too, picturing myself relaxing into the weekend, letting her lead me deeper into this nerdy world she loved so much.
ButIwas leaving in less than two months now.BecauseChloewas here– because of the decision that had brought me all of this magic to begin with–Ididn’t get to stay.Notthis year, anyway.AndifIdidn’t take every opportunity to make more money forGwenynen, maybe not next year, either.AndIdidn’t want to be thirty years old, still splitting my time between two realities.Ididn’t have it in me.Sowhat good was one day of fun, even withChloe, if it cost me years?
“Actually,”Isaid, my voice apologetic, “IthinkIshould drive back to the farm.Getmore stock for tomorrow.”
Chloe blinked. “Tonight?Teddy, it’s a four-hour round trip.You’dbe driving until two in the morning.”
“It’s fine.Idon’t mind the drive.AndmaybeI’lljust come back early tomorrow morning.”
“But why?”Shewas staring at me likeI’dsuggested setting myself on fire like the wicker owl burning two fields over. “We’vehad a great day.We’vemade more money than we projected.Whywon’t you let yourself have fun?”
Because ifIstay here,Ithought,ifIlet myself enjoy the festival with you, something’s going to happen between us.AndIcan’t afford that right now.NotwhenIonly have a few weeks left.
“More sales are better,”Isaid instead. “Andyoucan still enjoy tomorrow without having to work.Youcould enjoy the festival with your friends, andI’lljust need you to cover for a lunch break.”
“I don’t mind working,”Chloesaid quietly. “Ilike working with you.”
The admission hung between us.Iknew she understood what was really happening; that this wasn’t about stock levels or sales projections.ButIcould feel my heels digging in.Icouldn’t go there.
She gave in beforeIdid.Herjaw set in determination, and she nodded once– sharp; final. “Right.Ofcourse.Verypractical.”
“Chloe—”
“No, you’re absolutely right.Morestock, more sales.Iget it.”
But how could she get it?Icouldn’t explain that every momentIspent with her made it harder to remember whatIshould be focused on.Thatwatching her work today, seeing her fit so perfectly into this worldIwanted to be part of forever, made me desperate for a life that wasn’t mine yet.Mightnever be.AlifeIcould only have for a matter of weeks beforeIhad to give it up again.
“I should get going,”Isaid, already reaching for my keys. “Longdrive ahead.”
“Do you want me to come with you?Keepyou awake?”
For a moment,Iwas tempted.ButIcouldn’t pull her away from something she’d been excited for since last year.
“No.Youshould stay.Enjoythe rest of the evening with your friends.”
Chloe looked at me for a long moment, then simply said, “Drivesafely.”
